CDC Readies America for Zombie Preparedness

By Zombie Hunter Sam

If you can be prepared for a zombie apocalypse, you can prepared for almost anything. At least, that’s how the line of thinking goes. If one can have all the food, water, shelter and materials to survive a complete lack of human civilization, one should easily be able to survive a tornado, hurricane or flooding. This is a common thought shared by many zombie fans and survivalists and is our tying thread to reality. Yet when the message comes from the Centers for Disease Control, it’s still a bit creepy.

Considering the Rapture is supposed to happen this Saturday the 21st of May, you’ll need a plan, and you’ll need it quick. Even the Bible fortells of zombies, where people long to die and do not find death, so maybe they’re on to something.

And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.

– Revelation 9:6

The CDC warns that with the possibility of a zombie apocalypse, you’ll want your plan to share the common things with any survival plan, but they neglect to mention such important things as a sturdy bladed weapon, firearm, or other suitable projectile weapon.

  • Water, one gallon / person / day
  • Food, especially non perishable items
  • Medications, prescription, painkillers and other OTC
  • Tools and Supplies, including knives, duct tape, radios (don’t forget paracord)
  • Sanitation supplies, such as bleach soap and towels
  • Clothing and bedding (a change of clothes would be welcome in a long term situation, as well as a backpack to carry things)
  • Important documents, such as passport, drivers license, (and may I add FOID card if you’re in Illinois)
  • First Aid Kits

The Undead Report also recommends:

  • Kukri / Sword / Axe
  • Pocket Knives
  • Staff
  • Pistol / Crossbow
  • Rifle / Compound Bow
  • Bicycle or reliable motorized transit

The warning states that you’ll need a meeting location when the zombies come, as well as an escape route for your home. This is the kind of information that gets filtered out before something terrible happens. CDC claims that they would handle an outbreak of zombism the way they would handle any other outbreak, through study, containment and control.

The post is written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, whose personal favorite film is the Resident Evil franchise. You know, the one where the zombie virus is created in a laboratory, and then agents are dispatched to deal with it.

That’s reassuring.

According to a Fox News interview about the article, CDC spokesman Dave Daigle said it was a tongue-in-cheek post in response to someone asking CDC officials if zombies would be a concern due to radiation fears surrounding the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant in Japan.

While it’s a good thing that the CDC is trying to get citizens prepared for such a horrendous pandemic, I hope the tongue-in-cheek humor does not apply to their own precautions and preparedness for a zombie outbreak. This is serious stuff and should not be taken so lightly.

Do remain vigilant, do remain prepared, and do take this official government post with a grain of salt. But don’t let your guard down.

From the CDC: Social Media: Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse


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Filed Under: Defense · Preparedness · Science · Undead

4 million infected

  • 1 John Jun 7, 2011 at 12:25 am

    How could you bloody forget weapons ?
    Am I supposed to kill them by breaking their necks with the kung fu knowledge I dont wield ?

  • 2 Speren Jun 11, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    They left things like weapons off the list because the CDC was using a Zombie Apocalypse Scenario for publicity. The kit is solid however and one should always try to keep up to date on emergency situations with the CDC and other local goverment. At least, for as long as those institutions last.

    Remember… Train like you fight.

  • 3 Master Strategist Aug 24, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    The CDC is probably covering their work with “tongue in cheek” humor, as they put it. They say that its to get people ready for a “natural disaster” that later becomes an unnatural infestation.

  • […] government post with a grain of salt. But don’t let your guard down.  Source of article: Undeadreport. └ Tags: 2012, apocalypse, cannibal, cdc, emergency, shocking, […]

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