In the event of a catastrophic rising of the undead, zombies, Naegleria infected criminally insane, or even reanimated deer, it’s imperative that your home be protected. You can protect your home with style and class by building your own emergency zombie defense station.
A simple offensive kit consists of a primary weapon, an ammunitionless weapon, and a few other provisions. John Lucas at Craftster has created an excellent mockup of such a kit. While he uses non sharpened implements and non-live ammuntion, I highly suggest building a fully-functional kit of your own.
The kit consists of an pump action shotgun, shells, large knife and a plexiglass shield. Note also the high quality instructions included with the kit. In preparing a kit of your own, it is suggested that you leave the shotgun fully loaded and maintain extra shells in an easy to use bandolier. There is no point of keeping an anti-zombie weapon on your person or premises if it’s not going to be loaded. Zombies don’t wait for you to reload while they chew on your collarbone.
This kit funcitons best as a stand alone offensive solution. Its best tacitical placement would be near obvious weak zones in your home, such as entries, near large windows, or in cramped locations. An excellent place for such a kit as this would also be an upstairs window, or near a porch roof - shotgun blasts to the head should be sufficient enough at this elevation to cause complete destruction of the cerebellum and pons. You don’t want a Mike the Headless Zombie” wandering around, trying to eat things with just a throat. It’s pretty gross.
Don’t forget that you’ll still need a larger kit, and should have your whole house prepared anyway. I suggest the following:
- Benelli Super 90 8 Shot Pump Action Shotgun
- 100 Shotgun Shells - though why limit yourself? Have at least 4 bandoliers per person.
- Pikes, ninjata or other polearm - for a ranged blade attack.
- Lightweight Machete or Ginsu Knife - you want something easy to swing in close quarters that will sever the spine on one blow.
Remember: a member of the undead — and a member of the living for that matter — can still function and move with just a brainstem. You want complete severing of that head! When taking a headshot, aim through the mouth and towards the back for a square, clean shot.
31 thousand infected
1 General Stanford Nov 28, 2007 at 2:27 am
This is not a logical reason to go out and waste your money on something that will never happen.
2 General Stanford Nov 28, 2007 at 2:28 am
the Military would have this under complete control if something like this was to ever happen which it won\’t.
3 General Stanford Nov 28, 2007 at 2:29 am
Sam I need to speal with you urgently. This matter is of the utmost importance.
4 Sam Nov 28, 2007 at 3:26 am
Hmm, you can do all your speaking here, this is a public news service. And besides, its a good idea to keep your home armed and prepared anyway.
5 Sonya Jan 14, 2008 at 5:52 am
General, I really dont think that anyone should have a lot of faith in the military at this point, simply because… how long has it been since our government, our military started looking for Bin Ladan? You remember? that guy in the desert with a camel? The one that caused September 11, 2001? Yeah him… Whats it been? Almost seven years and still no results… If we were to count on the military to save us from zombies or any other group of otherwise ‘bad guys’its untelling how long we will have to wait.
As Sam stated this is public and is protected under the first amendment. Besides the news will get out anyway with or without you. Sure you have the right to say what you want. However, it will not stop this site and it if does then I must say that it would have to be a pretty piss poor site to stop the news to the public because of some General.
6 Sam Jan 14, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Don’t worry, I won’t stop the news. And I doubt the “General” is to be trusted. Just some punk kids having fun.
7 Sonya Jan 18, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I figured as much. It just felt good to get that out of my system. Thank you Sam. I must say that I am beginning to like this site. I tend to think that it is possible and with the dogs being … brought back, there really is no telling how long it will take before someone somewhere gets the idea that it would make a great medical feat and an even better war tactic. Thus I think that once someone develops it enough to use on humans then by all means, someone will mutate it for use on forgen soil. I.E. Bush or the military… some way, shape or form, the government will be involved. I am greatful for this site and people like you Sam.
8 Sonya Jan 18, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Also never forget this i learned from “Fido”
“In the head and not the chest:
Head shots are the very best!”
9 Chaos Mar 15, 2008 at 7:43 pm
2001 was a cover-up. “terrorists” didnt do it, our own gov did. Hitler did the same thing, attack your own nation to ensure war against another.
10 Michael Mar 29, 2008 at 5:43 am
Fuckin’ Solanum!
11 PREPAREDFORZOMBIES Apr 21, 2008 at 7:14 pm
YOU HAVE TO REALIZE THAT THE UNDEAD WILL INVADE PREPARE YOUR HOMES AND STOCK UP ON FOOD
12 pingu_118 Apr 30, 2008 at 8:47 am
i belive zombies will attack i am prepering, but honestly i dont think that the millitery will be that interested i mean i looked at a polatics report and it turns out the peoples safty is at number 10 in there priorities so that means we are last on there list we have to do this our selfs but if there is a little break out the govenment will do any thing to cover it up ever seel off the place it happend and set off a neucular bomb and say the plantr blew up
any way we all need to prepare for the worst
if you want to ask me any thing email me at:
pingu_118@hotmail.co.uk
peace out
13 MSGT. May 9, 2008 at 6:39 pm
THE MAIN PROBLEM IS THE PARACITES THAT GAVE BEEN FEEDING ON THE DEAD….
14 zombiekill125 Jun 3, 2008 at 4:38 am
love the sighn
15 Jake Jun 6, 2008 at 4:16 am
LMAO ok, i like zombie movies,games,books, etc. I like to think of what i would do in the event of an outbreak.
but you guys take it WAY too far…. zombies arn’t invading….. It’s fine to Imagine and Pretend but Zombies arn’t going to attack and thats that. thats like saying aliens are coming….
seriously, no one is going to take you seriously, and they will think you are phycho…
and no matter how much you saw “this guys not prepared we will die early” or “he’s not a true beliver” or “joooooooooooooooin usssssssssssssss” or “Dude there is evidence”(there isnt, its all for fun or somones tring to trick you) any other thing that has to do with somthing like that, remember this
1.im just going to laugh
2.everyone else is going to laugh
3.Zombies arn’t real, realize that
4.It’s fun to PRETEND or IMAGINE not acually think they are real
and 5. if you continue to beleive they are real, Your going to grow up like those crazy old men with aluminum foil hats on their head beacuse they think aliens are coming.
16 pingu_118 Jun 6, 2008 at 8:52 am
mate with all the science experements going off who knows
on contry brought a dog back to life 3 days after it died
so who knows what will happen?
you carnt rule out anything thats why i do belive and i think it will happen
you can call me crazy or psyco
at the end of the day people belive diffrent things and you should respect that
also every one knows deep down somthing will happen to end human race
so buddy dont go patranising every one for there belifes
honesty would you moan at someone for there religen
and things they belive in because of that
and im not comparing this to a religen
think about what you say
honestly
pingu_118@hotmail.co.uk
email me
17 Jake Jun 6, 2008 at 10:57 pm
I’d rather not email you, Thanks though ok, thought about it XD:
No, i wouldn’t moan at somone for their religion, most of that is within the realm of beleif im my book.
but zombies real? XD
yeah i saw the dog thing that wasnt a zombie . it wasn’t real.
thats what i meant when i said ““Dude there is evidence”(there isnt, its all for fun or somones tring to trick you)”
that video would be under extreme lock down and noone would know about that whole thing, you know what the governments like, also,It would have been on the news and pubicised not on some site.I’ve never heard of that before i saw it here im pretty sure you could say the same.
i respect peoples beliefs but this isnt a belief really….. Its somthing that started as an idea then a movie then it turned into THIS.Not for me though, love zombies, dont think their gunna be real.
your right with science experiments who knows… MAYBE some day people can reanimate things but that doesnt make them a zombie…..
18 Sam Jun 7, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Thanks for writing Jake. Of course, you are free to believe what you will. Of course, no one can confirm or deny the existence of zombies. I only present information and research of my own studies, you draw your own conclusions.
As for the dog head video, I believe it to be real. If you watch the whole thing, you’ll see hearts reanimated too — a head is still tissue, muscle and blood, and will function given the right prerequisites. It’s hard to determine if the doghead is alive or aware, or merely behaving reflexively.
Take my information with a grain of salt, that’s fine, but when, or perhaps *if* in your case, the zombies attack, maybe you’ll have learned some useful information here.
19 Jake Jun 7, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Like i said, i like to think about what i would do in the event of one so *if * zombies did attack, i would be ready.
Ok, so if noone can deny it then why isnt the world at an apocalypse state yet? Just curious.
Yeah, i saw the video watched it, and i have to ask you, dont you think it would be under extreme security and not for the publics eyes?
i mean thats how things work, when the titanic was going down they waited to tell people that it was acually sinking, beacuse they didnt want anyone to panic, that would be choas.
look at area 51…..
look at the Iraq war i bet half of the story we dont know, they are probably sending peace tredies or surrendering put i bet it all goes in the paper shredder…
so many conperices.
when America went to the moon news was all over, i think that if some one brought a dog back to life it would be a heck of a lot more famous, and people would see it on T.V. , books , ALL OVER the internet etc……
20 j earl Jun 13, 2008 at 3:16 pm
i’ve read your post guys. but to think of it can anyone give any concrete proof or reports if possible that this is true. so that some who might been to this site might also have a good judge on things. sam i hope i haven’t offended some here. well any ways thanks.
21 iwouldenjoysmalloutbreak Jun 30, 2008 at 9:23 pm
where is this dog re alive thing? i gotta see it, whether it be real or fake, that just is too cool to pass up
also, i would enjoy it if every six or seven months there is a small zombie attack on my house, you just something to keep me on my toes and my aim true. i had a dream earlier this month about zombies attacking my house, i figure it would be kinda fun.
22 pyro1986 Jul 10, 2008 at 7:32 pm
ive been reading these posts and some of you guys are morons at the end of the day there maybe a zombie outbreak someday there maybe not but lack of evidence does not dispute its like does god exist or not there is no concrete evidence either side so guys get your heads out of your asses and let people have there own opinions
23 Shadow_Fur Jul 15, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Well most ppl dont get how imminite this really is….
24 Shadow_Fur Jul 15, 2008 at 6:51 pm
http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html
this explains it….
25 pyro1986 Jul 16, 2008 at 3:46 pm
they are all theories not concrete there are a lot of “if” in those reasons
26 Google Jul 18, 2008 at 3:44 pm
ok i just read about that somthing will end the human race i really do dought that killer zombies will end that remeber this is from movies for god sake and if anything happend to the human race i think we would do somthi9ng about it before things start to get to a pandemic scale so please put your minds at rest.
Also if somthing was to finnish off the human race it will be the end of all time (i would have said the sun imploding but we hopfuly designed new tecnology by then so we can fly though space)
27 Dakota aea Jul 18, 2008 at 4:55 pm
this guys is right all the way
but please want this to happen zombies rule ok if i was 17 when i t happened it would rule i hope it does happen in a way its kida of sick i hink but its cool lol
28 Dakota Jul 18, 2008 at 5:02 pm
uptop sam and general and gusy dudes the danmed mitllitary is probally hidding it from us who knowslol zombies are stil lsweet lol i mean keepyour HOME ARMED ANYDARNED WAY WHAT IF SOME THUGS OR danmed phyco rapists come i nyuor house i would fucking beat the mortal hell out of them trust me (i could i) lol i mean i’m not scared oft hem or noting but stil be prepared lol anything could happen it just depends on where yuor at and when your there (what ever the hell that means ) lol
29 Jake Jul 19, 2008 at 6:07 am
Let’s hope you fight better than you can type or you’re in trouble. Also you said lol after all of your sentances.
30 Dakota Jul 19, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Yes i can fight alot better i know alot of jujistu relly hard to learn i workout every wekk 4 times a day or atleast try 5 days a week ,i know alot about guns i have seen most zombie movies they uaslly end weird uhhh and i knwo a lot about guns AS SAID UBOVE i am a tactical percion expert yes i am, didd i mentoin i’m only 14 lol lol every tihng from zombies and guns they are secret obsessoins. i dont want ppl at school to know because it would be al ittle embarrissing lol but yeh i wouild beat the zombies heads it maybe i dk
31 Sam Jul 24, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Well Dakota, I highly doubt the military is hiding anything from us RE: zombies. There just doesn’t seem to be much evidence to support it, but of course, why would there be?
Thanks Shadow_Fur, I’ve read that article, it’s quite fascinating and brings up some very valid points, which I have written about in other posts.
I’m glad there are so many gun and tactical experts reading the Undead Report. Way to share your ideas guys. Please be civil and don’t overpost! Just remember to keep a good kit around, with real weapons, just in case.
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