The Undead Report - Home

Reanimating Dead Hearts

Oct
08

heart.jpg

So the soviet reanimated animal research continues.

What do you get with one part cellular cleaning agent, one dead heart, and a couple of mad scientists? That’s right: reanimated hearts.

Perhaps the efforts of earlier commie scientists are still being perfected. Scientists in Minnesota have been injecting dead rat hearts with a cleaning solution, then using a pacemaker and pump to get the things working. After eight days they began to pump on their own. Creepily slow beating.

Read More »

3 Thousand InfectedFiled under: Reanimation · Science

Zombie Arcade Action!

Sep
24

BOOM HEADSHOT

I love kiling zombies. But until they actually take over, I’ll have to stick with video games and hippies.

The Undead Report now has an arcade. I got tired of looking for the really good games with depth, tactical considerations, replayability and addictiveness. Go to the arcade, have fun, stay a little longer, and practice getting some headshots in.

The games I’ve included are Flash based web games, although if I come across any good downloads, I will post these as well.

The Last Stand 2 – Features item and survivor searching, weapon upgrades,  and resource management. Never mind the shotgun, it’s pretty useless here. Equip it to another survivor. Great visuals, gameplay and replayability.

Boxhead: Zombie Wars – A fun, fast shooter with weapon upgrades and a never ending supply of enemies. Setup lots of barrels for major explosive fun. Highly addictive.

Endless Zombie Rampage – You don’t actually hang in the bunker you’re trying to defend, but you do get some nifty guns to defeat the (rather slow) zombies coming your way. Upgrades are hard to get, so you better be a crack shot. Lots of gore!

As I find more excellent zombie games, I’ll keep this post updated. Comment if you have any other good web-based zombie games I should know about.

9 Thousand InfectedFiled under: Defense · Games · Preparedness · Simulation

Zombie Solanum is fiction.

Sep
13

Solanum =/= Zombies

Solanum is fiction, solanum is not real, solanum does not cause zombies.

Many readers [Holden, mikac, Michael] have mentioned Solanum or written that they have researched zombies, finding Solanum to be the cause. FAIL. Solanum is a large, variable genus of annual plants and perennial plants. They often have attractive fruit and flowers. They are poisonous to humans (though not necessarily to other animals), but many bear edible fruits, leaves, or tubers.  In case you don’t get the joke, one form of Solanum fruit is the tomato, Solanum lycopersicum. Potatoes, Tomatoes and Eggplants. Not zombies.

Read More »

13 Thousand InfectedFiled under: Science · Solanum

Stay out of the sewers.

Aug
22

Old Timey Shower Head Gas MaskIf movies, video games and horror novels are any good indication, the sewer is the worst place to be during an invasion. Sewers have been known to breed mutant mosquitos, alligators, rats and fighting turtles. It’s natural that the filth, radiation and biological contaminants that get washed down the drain will only lead to really bad things. If you’re waiting for that rabies virus to mutate, you’ll find it underground.

News in from the UK, from the Daily Mail: Zombies are found in the sewers. Staff at a sewage treatment facility in Eastbourne, East Sussex, UK have reported strange sightings, feelings and paranoia underground. Employees report they have been scared to enter tunnels after being followed about by a “humanoid figure”. A parapsychologist was brought in to investigate the incidents.

A paraspychologist? We’re talking ZOMBIES here, not Casper, Zool or the Ninja Turtles.

Read More »

14 Thousand InfectedFiled under: Science · Sighting · Undead

Multi-Purpose Doom: Tactical Analysis and Review

Aug
05

Aim and survive. Be prepared. You’ve been warned.

If you found yourself trapped in a gymnasium with hordes of brain hungry zombies coming from every door and window, what would you do? Fight? Flee? Scream? You’d probably die, because you haven’t seen the second hand tacitcal simulation that is being demonstrated here in Chicago. A small group of survivors has been banding together in a gym and running repeated drills on zombie holocaust survival and zombie elimination.

The Sandbox Theatre Project is running a preparedness simulation called “Multi Purpose Doom“, which is performed at 9pm every Friday and Saturday night through August 23rd at the Menomonee Club in Lincoln Park. The exercise consists of several groups of day-to-day people who have inadvertently been overbooked in the same gymnasium. The jittery self help group, a woefully unprepared and ditzy high school reunion organizer, and the jocks all try for their right to own the space for the night. The typical survival character archetypes shine after the inevitable (and bloodily hilarious) zombie outbreak.

Read More »

6 Thousand InfectedFiled under: Brains · Preparedness · Simulation · Theatre · Undead