Early Apocalypse Survival Mistakes

By Zombie Hunter Sam


S#it just hit the fan. The zombies have come. The infection has spread. They’re neither fast, nor slow, but they do attack and they do kill, and the infection is spreading, and you probably can’t tell the infected from survivors until it’s too close or too late. This is the moment you haven’t been adequately planning for.

Let’s go raid the gun store! No, let’s go hit the military base that just happens to be in my city! Screw it, let’s get out of town. FAIL. There will be no gun store, the military base will shoot anyone within 100 yards, and every road will be blocked.  Luckily, the fellows over at Cracked have already thought of why your plan will fail. Here’s a counterpoint.

#5 — The gun store / military base run.

Cracked has it spot on here — you’re not going to be able to run to the gun store when things get bad, and if you can, expect to be met by many other people and the store owners. With that many guns, it won’t just be the infected getting hit. Stock up before hand, and if there are no firearms in your region (or they’re even  banning knives), you had better be damned creative, or else be really accurate with your stone throwing. Your best advice is to run and bash in some brains while wearing some biological protective gear.

#4 — Leave town.

Seeing as around 50% of the population now lives in urban areas, you can expect the roads out will be crowded and moving slower than an LA rush hour in a snow storm. Cities also breed filth, infection and disease. Expect zombie infection and attacks to be at an abnormally high level in a metropolitan area. You will have a very short time before you are attacked, infected, or caught by angry mobs or survivors. If you find yourself caught, stay put temporarily, then wade through the madness. Stick to back roads, but not so remote as to be slaughtered by gangs or bands of survivors.

#3 — Fortify your defenses.

If you’re making do in that urban stronghold, it won’t last forever. In the rare instance that you have a bomb shelter, congratulations as you are in the top percentile of likely survivors. Most of us are apartment or common home dwellers, and such luxuries are unavailable. If you can support yourself for about a month, you may have an edge to ride off the initial infection and retaliation stages, but after that you will need to resettle and re-secure the area. While Cracked is using undead as their zombies, in reality the zombies are alive, can and will move about, passing infection to other areas as they run out of food and aggressors.  You will need to cordon off and fortify the rest of your area, not just your dwelling.

#2 — Use melee weapons when possible.

Cracked has it spot on — you don’t want blood and infected flesh getting on or near your person, even if you have a biological contaminant resistant suit. Max Brooks is just foolish when he says to use blades or staffs when possible — you want the infected to be as distant from you as possible when they die. Carry a fireaxe, kukri, aluminum bat, staff or other strong blade on your person for emergencies and close quarters, but be proficient with that firearm first. You will most likely be able to fight through or evade most attacks before they happen. Remember to always put distance between you and any aggressor. Distance = safety.

#1 — Always aim for the head.

Headshots will permanently disable your aggressor, though you are targeting a much smaller and harder to hit area. Center of mass will still work against the infected. Severing limbs will slow them down and blood loss will eventually kill them.  An automatic weapon will serve as a morale booster and can plant several center of mass shots, but it will burn through ammo if you’re not careful. If you have a headshot, take it to kill and conserve ammo, but certainly you can puncture a heart and lungs and kill them that way. Distance first, then destruction.

Thanks again Cracked, for pointing things out to a wide audience, though remember, we will be fighting “new” zombies.

And now some teaser info:
There’s a new breed of zombie interaction coming to Chicago. Zombies Attack Chicago is a live interactive event incorporating mixed media, make-up, special effects, and stage violence. Think of it as an interactive  “Chose Your Own Adventure”.
Every October Friday, $15 @ The Spot 4437 N. Broadway Ave, South of the Wilson Redline. More information soon, and special deals for my lovely Undead Report readers.

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Filed Under: Defense · Preparedness · Simulation · Weapons

38 million infected

  • 1 logan Sep 23, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    well, this is a thoroughly awesome article, and provides a very good read

  • 2 jmann Sep 24, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    nice useful info,but those that really look into it already know most of this stuff,still great article,thank you cracked and undead report

  • 3 logan Sep 25, 2009 at 11:29 am

    ARRGH!!! my remington nylon 66 won’t fire- it will, but will eject a whole bullet…wtf… might be blanks, don’t know, but as if to make matters worse, the cleaning kit (.22) broke, and we own a lot of .22s..damn..well, i’ll bring it to my neighbor’s house

  • 4 prophet Sep 25, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    thats a cool picture up there

  • 5 LongLastingSurvivor Sep 29, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    If you want a good, medium/long range gun, looky here. http://www.dpmsinc.com/store/products/?prod=1999 You can’t buy it on that site but that is the creator’s website, and it gives a damned good description of the gun. It is possible to buy this gun, you just have to look.

  • 6 prophet Oct 8, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    i’d stick with like a P90 or SPAS-12 or somethin’

  • 7 prophet Oct 9, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    the only mistake is not being ready…

  • 8 logan Oct 12, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    i really have no idea what im gonna do if this goes down! if it goes down during school, im f**ked, seriously. im gonna head for the exit, maybe a quick stop at the cafeteria if there’s time to grab a knife to defend myself…im probably gonna die if it happens then……if it happens at the home depot, i can run to where they keep the hammers, but seriously, if it happens during school hours (please not during an assembly :) ) i will have a 1 in 10 chance of surviving. i hope im at home and hear it on the radio, hopefully starting somewhere VERY FAR AWAY. if my parents are smart, they will hopefully go very fast to the supermarket and see if they can grab food, etc (i will recommend this) but if lots of people heard it, and are worried, they will already be there, and maybe violently..well, in vt, you can carry around a gun, hopefuly we will have a good pistol by then, if not we can saw off the dbl barrel to 18 in and wear a really baggy sweatshirt…or since ive heard its legal…then board up the house, and see what to do next…

  • 9 LongLastingSurvivor Oct 14, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    prophet: Ultimately, shotguns would be ineffective unless you were at close range, which isn’t a good idea. Range is everything, the farther the better. The P90 would also be ineffective because of the high inaccuracy of most automatics, and you would spend most of your time reloading and keeping your arm steady. I think this article states these things, i.e. range is everything, blood is bad, and accuracy is a BIG help. One thing it doesn’t state is reload time. Say you have a double barrel (VERY bad idea) and you have say 12 zeds on you. You will get both shots off, probably only knocking down one or two or missing completely, and then you have to reload. Not good in this situation. SPAS-12 is a good gun, don’t get me wrong, but it just isn’t the best for zed killing. The gun I suggested is semi-automatic (shoots as fast as you pull the trigger), accurate, light-weight, and is clip-fed, hailing faster reload time. So, i suggest using a clip-fed, accurate, semi-automatic gun in the apocalypse.

  • 10 TAvoR Oct 15, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    LongLastingSurvivor- Clip fed are good unless you have one ow two clips. Reloading clips (especially under attack) sucks. Alot. under stress, you become clumsy and would dop rounds that are ever precious in this situation.

    And logan, in this sort of situation, you could saw off the gun to a good 8 inches, seeing as you can saw off a double barrel to the shell. Over-under DB’s are better since SidebySide go a little left of a little right.

    You can make shotgun speedloaders by wrapping wire around them both, or just buy some.

    If you get a clip-fed, you should seriously get a popular one like a Glock or 1911 so you can find accessories and clips for them.

    Revolvers are good if you can get ahold of speedloaders.

    A good longrange is something like an AR-15, fairly accurate, available to the public, and semiauto.

    Hi-cap clips are handy as well. Make sure to have plenty of cleaning materials and ammunition at hand, if your gun breaks youre pretty screwed.

  • 11 logan Oct 15, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    i would use something other than my dbl barrel, but its the most powerful thing ive got, and unfortuanatley i don’t have the pleasure of owning an aa-12 :D

  • 12 logan Oct 16, 2009 at 5:46 am

    i was talking about sawing it to the legal limit dude. if im walking around with a concealed weapon (legal in vt ive heard) i want it to be legal so im not stuck in a cell when the outbreak hits.

  • 13 Orange glint Oct 23, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    For a weapon I would sugest the ruger 10/22. Sure its a rimfire 22 but pepole masively underestimate the power of small firearms. Sure its a small bullet but its still a pointed peice of lead traveling faster than sound. A box of 550 22 rounds takes up the same space as 12 shotgun shells. As each bullet should kill one zombie witch do you think is better? The ruger is light and compact semi auto and clip fed. Its also extremely populer witch would increase the likelyhood of finding clips or ammo for it. I bought mine for only 150 bucks so if your short on cash its a good gun. Plus i got a 50 round barrel clip two 25round clips and two basic 10 round clips for it. Its also easy to customize makeing it a weapon all for you with flashlights bayonets and tactical stocks galore. Id also suggest a 22 pistol of some kind, shareing ammo is a huge advantage.

  • 14 josho123 Oct 25, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    Hey Sam. i no this is completely off topic but i just have to ask.im wondering if this would be a good idea about fortifying my house.

    Well, first right now im working on gathering bricks and [cement] for when the outbreak hits the news.Next im going to cut a hole in the ruff and stick a ladder through the hole then i have easy access to the roof . After that im will try to build a bridge from the roof to the garage. after that im going to cut a hole through the garage roof and stick a ladder through that then [barricade] 2 of the 3 doors i have in the garage the 2 back doors the front door is a door that slides to the side. (im not barricading this door (because then i wont be able to get cars in the garage to fortify them but will have lots of chains on them). when im done with that im going to try to make a look out point at the top of a tree thats near my garage. o yeah i forgot to [mention] in the beginning to put a 8 foot fence up around the perimeter of my house and garage(don’t no why i have a 8 foot fence laying around).ok back to the look out when i set the look out up im also going to try to make a zip line going from the try to the house.

    sorry for the length of the message
    get back to me on this please
    let me no if its good or not thanks.
    i give u luck for what is to come.

  • 15 Zombie-Hunter Sam Oct 27, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    Josho — it’s a terrible plan. With what and how are you going to cut holes in the roof, and build a bridge while being on that roof? The easiest way to destroy a building is to cut a hole in the roof and wait for the elements to take care of the rest. You mentioned you don’t have an 8 foot fence laying around either, and after you fortify all this, where will your food, water and supplies come from? You’ve just made an early mistake, and are now dead of starvation.

    A better plan would be to find a temporary and sound structure that you can easily adapt and barricade, such as a school, recycling center or Quick-e-mart.

  • 16 josho123 Nov 6, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    alright i have a new plan. im gunna go to my elementary school that is 4 stories high, barracade all the doors. and theres this part in the school that you can get on the ruff from the second stairway and you could put like a sniper or marksman on the ruff so if any get to close just balst them from a safe distance. we have a local store that we can go get food from. and 4 transportation theres a garage inside of the school i could drive my truck or car into the garage, then i could modifie it in there when im done with that id probley gunna park it the garage so if i get surrounded i can drive my car through the garage door. Just think about it havin a like 40 – 20 people in there and train them to be soliders. Ha . that would be kool. anyways we could store like 5 rooms full of canned food, after that chill there intill we or i run outa food.

  • 17 ninja? Nov 13, 2009 at 2:15 am

    i live in Australia, u might think were pretty safe down here, were not if america gets infected so will Australia (just like swine flu). because I’m only young and cant get a gun from somewhere I’m forced to use melee weapons, but before u say ‘that guys going to be boned, I have a plan:

    List of melee weapons:

    guitar(whack zombies over the head =D)

    axes(well u know what I’ll use axes for)

    whip(don’t know what I’ll use it for?)

    silver stars(slice and dice)

    sharp jagged knives(kill infected individuals with)

    a sharpened metal pole(looks and feels like a fencing sword)

    and well… thats all I can think of…

    could you also use antibacterial spray to keep away the germs or something, and mabey bring a small laptop so u could connect with the out-side world… and possibly bring a nice tight fitted gas mask with googles,

  • 18 plaidt Nov 19, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    lol nice article…wish i had teh money and teh resources to actually “stock up”, or shit maybe even build a safe house. Its a scary feeling to think or know that a zombie apocalypse might actually fucking happen!

  • 19 JoshA.D. Dec 22, 2009 at 3:33 am

    Interesting read, but in all honesty I’d like to have a M-16 with Grenade Launcher Attachment for primary weaponry, A Desert Eagle for Secondary Weaponry, And Melee Weapon would be a machete, I’ve been waiting for a zombie apocalypse for a while now, and I know what to do in that situation, plus I’d suggest to you all if you get a vehicle check the backseat cause you never know if a zombie is back there (ZOMBIELAND Reference).

  • 20 logan Dec 23, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Yeah..m16 would be nice- high accuracy, common ammo (don’t always mix .223s with 5.56s, though). Grenade launcher would be nice for crowd control, but you’d have to know how to use it correctly. Desert Eagles are known for their power, as all of its calibers are powerful, but has a loooow accuracy. only for close up, and fun useage in games. machete would be nice- big cutting area, etc.

  • 21 josho123 Dec 23, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    i agree with you on the m16. but i would not want to have the desert eagle because simply it weighs so much. I would want the m16 but where would you find the ammo? i would much rather have the gsg-5 with red dot and at the end a flashlight. i totally agree with the machete. For a pistol a glock-7 [suggested] to you. I have a glock-7 with extended barrel and clip (yes i [know] [they’re] illegal) and hey in 3 years when this hits im gunna strap ma 22cal. to me leg

  • 22 mike Dec 26, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    i agrre with logan on the desert eagle, very hard to control.

  • 23 logan Dec 26, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    yup. They need to improve on the design. Very promising, but just not executed well.

  • 24 mike Dec 28, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    used to have one in 50 ae. big boom. very nasty when you hit somthing, but the whole set up is very front heavy. the grip is also way to thick. believe it or not the 500 sw mag is much easier to control, and way more accurate{ not to mention devastating}

  • 25 josho123 Dec 29, 2009 at 10:36 am

    i agree with you on the m16. but i would not want to have the desert eagle because simply it weighs so much. I would want the m16 but where would you find the ammo yeah i no there common but the gsg-5 takes 22lr bullets. i would much rather have the gsg-5 with red dot and at the end a flashlight. i totally agree with the machete. For a pistol a glock-7 sugested to you. I have a glock-7 with extended barrel and clip (yes i no there illegal) and hey in 3 years when this hits im gunna strap ma 22cal pistol to my leg

  • 26 Orange glint Jan 1, 2010 at 12:07 am

    I read that the 1911 was designed because the marines handguns Did not have enough stoping power. Apharently the philipino tribesmen were getting high on a indiginous plant that made them extremely agressive and imune to pain and it would take to many rounds to take one down. Thus the 1911 was born and was more than capeable for knocking someone down. Sounds like a good anti zombie handgun for me.

  • 27 mike Jan 2, 2010 at 1:11 am

    i agree, i love my 1911 and the 45 leaves a hole very comparible to the .50. its also much more compact and the recoils is nill(compared to the desert eagle}.

  • 28 josho123 Jan 2, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    yes indeed the rode island 1911 i think it is rode or rhode something like that its looks like a colt

  • 29 josho123 Jan 3, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    yeah i hate the recoils on desert eagles but i love power at the same time

  • 30 mike Jan 4, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    sw 500 is so much more fun and powerful (not to mention accurate)

  • 31 PurpleEater Mar 4, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    True, but good luck finding it in the apocalypse. Gimme a .45 anyday.

  • 32 mike Mar 6, 2010 at 12:43 am

    well yeah i prefer my 1911 but we were talking about obscenely powerful pistols

  • 33 logan Mar 6, 2010 at 8:43 am

    The Crotatioan RT-20 would be the ultimate in “obscenely powerful” for a sniper rifle in a zombie scenario. It uses a 20x110mm Hispano round, and has a recoil so powerful it must utilitize a backblast system; similar to that of many missle launchers.
    Wow..i just had an overwhelming sense of Déjà vu when I wrote that…I must have posted it somewhere, or maybe I’ve just written that exact same snippet to describe it many a time.
    sorry to get off topic on the pistols discusion there.

  • 34 mike Mar 6, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    well as long as were going tht route ill take the south african ntw 20, it uses 20mm and 114 mm russin rounds plus it looks awsome it comes wit both barrels for both rnds sweet.

  • 35 PurpleEater Mar 10, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Yeah…I’ll just take a tank if we’re talking overkill.

  • 36 Jay Apr 2, 2010 at 6:13 am

    My tactic would be to grab some melee weapon i have most luckily it would be a chef knife i have.
    for my bad luck i dont have a gun store near by nor and guns at home. then i would have to secure a school close enough to my house off course it depends on what type of zombies will breed. My correct
    school is the best it has lots of storage places,many rooms to serve as sleeping rooms,cafetira,etc …
    High gates and high buildings. but my brother said his school is proabably better then mine he says his school has:
    Small,High Gates,Electronic Rooms [could be used to make the gates electric] and has locks on the windows and probabaly the principle has a gun storage … dont know yet.
    and its not really far. but to find a good weapon in israel is hard. i know a guard in my neigborhood
    that has a Glock but i doubt he would survive because he would call ambulence and then get bit.
    my school guards have
    Desert Eagle .50 AE
    Berretta 9mm
    but if i manage to find a gun store i may try to raid it if …
    it wasn’t raided already :<
    I'd grab a accurate long ranges bolt rifle action, maybe an SMG for CQC like MP5 or Scorpion well scartch Scorpion it can't be silenced.
    I'd have a Crowbar "not only a deadly weapon but a useful tool"
    MP7A1 SMG "The MP7 is set to replace the Heckler & Koch MP5 in the Norwegian Armed Forces"
    Just incase i'll grab some shotgun like SPAS12 or M3 maybe a XM1014.
    As a side arm i would take Glock 18 or 17

  • 37 gman11 May 16, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    HEY SAM… me and my friend are gonna fortify 2 buildings and set up a supply trade root in this situation so we can fit more weapon and supplys in the buildings is this a good idea

  • 38 carlos Jul 4, 2010 at 6:38 am

    hey gman11 i dont mean to be an ass but isnt that kinda risky? what if you lose contact with your friend and he ends up dead or the supply tade gets interrupted? if its only you and your friend, than both of you stay in a building together (fortify the building like you siad). in some cases more is better but if the zombie apocalypse happens than your gonna need to carry only what you need ’cause too much will slow you down and you’ll end up getting killed eventually. only have more when it’s you and a friend or a group of survivors.

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