Zombies aren’t necessarily undead, reanimated ghouls. Research at The Undead Report indicates zombies can be infected, crazed, uncontrollable rabid humans. You want to be sure one of them is dead? Aim for the head. Don’t stand there and let them bite you, infectious or not!

Joseph Lancellotti, a 67 year old greater New Orleans man was gardening at his home when a crazed man gibbering in Spanish ran up to him, hitting him in the head. During Lancellotti’s valiant struggle using a rake for defense, the strange man bit his arm and swallowed the flesh.

Bit his arm, and swallowed the flesh.

The crazed man, later identified as Mario Vargas, 48 hung around and made no attempt to flee when police officers arrived at the scene. Forty five minutes earlier, he had been released from a local hospital for a finger injury.  What was that injury? What happened after his release and before the attack? Did hospital staff not notice something strange?

His wife, Bonnie Lancellotti obviously notes “This person’s clearly lost his sense, I mean, what else can you say, eating people’s skin?”

Lost his sense, lost his mind, or lost his human functions?

If you haven’t seen “Quarantine”, I highly suggest you do. Besides being a solidly produced horror film, it’s realistic, shot first-person, and is quite an accurate description of what a zombie outbreak might look like: infected, crazed people feeling no pain, acting on instinct and being strange. And eating you.

Stranger takes bite of gardener’s arm

News in from the UK, from the Daily Mail: Zombies are found in the sewers. Staff at a sewage treatment facility in Eastbourne, East Sussex, UK have reported strange sightings, feelings and paranoia underground. Employees report they have been scared to enter tunnels after being followed about by a “humanoid figure”. A parapsychologist was brought in to investigate the incidents.

A paraspychologist? We’re talking ZOMBIES here, not Casper, Zool or the Ninja Turtles.

Zombies aren’t ghosts. They’re dead or crazed infected people who pose a major threat to life and civilization. The psychic reports “one particular area (is) giving people the creeps. People have seen and felt things… A lot of people don’t like going in there. You can hear voices in the tunnels.” The Undead Report won’t debate about psychic validity, ghosts or feelings, focusing instead on the dangers and scientific validity of the zombie. There may be strange electromagnetism fooling with peoples brains, perhaps even funny smells and gasses in the sewer are causing zombie apparations. However, when you hear voices and report being followed, it’s something a little more concrete for people to investigate. You must be prepared.

The importance of anti-zombie measures must be stressed. All it takes is a single zombie or undead to bring about the plague from hell. Human beings are fragile systems and our bodies have grown complacent over the years through our advances in medical technology, disease eradication and life expectancy. We’ve grown weak and over populated, all it takes is one opportunistic virus to turn one of us into a sewer crawling ghoul.

Parapsychologists can’t hold a seance to get rid of a zombie. That’s what bullets are for.

Ghostbuster called in after sewage workers stalked by ‘zombie’ in underground tunnels