One year left.

Z-Day. 2012. The Mayan zombie super-apocalypse. Sensational journalism. Paranoid survivalists. Gun nuts. People out having fun. Boy scouts taking their preparedness to the next level. If you can be ready for this, you can be ready for anything.

2012 and the end of the world has been discussed at length here (dozens of comments pending) and elsewhere. This site naturally leans towards a zombie apocalypse on the 21st of December, 2012. We’re zombie fans, we love this stuff. Take it with a grain of salt as you will. True,  most apocalypse theories and end time projections lack scientific evidence, but we don’t really care. If we can prepare in a year for a be-all end-all apocalypse of local or global scale based on humans turning into something decidedly less human, you can count on a zombie preparedness expert to get you out of a jam, change a flat tire, whip up delicious scorpion stew, or have a solid sate of mind to hear your own fears. We’re there for you, but we won’t hesitate to end it real quick if you decide to get all bitey on us. Just don’t expect us to share our escape strategies and survival plans with anyone, even our loved ones. They will be revealed when necessary.

Doomsday 2012 will certainly be creeping into mainstream media as the year progresses. You may count on a few groups or individuals even creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Y2K, Heaven’s Gate, May21, 2011 — the dates have come and gone, and some of us remain. That may be true come a year, but it doesn’t mean our curiosity will be satisfied on the 22nd.

Research indicates it will be the “Boyle” rage virus, still alive human type of zombie. If you’re looking for evidence, all it takes is a few Google searches and Cracked’s RSS feed. Cracked has posted numerous articles about Z-day. Here’s a few relevant ones to bring you up to speed.

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

• Brain parasites (such as toxoplasma or Naegleria fowleri)
• Neurotoxins (like tetrodotoxin)
• Rage Virus (think advanced rabies)
• Neurogenesis (stem cell research causes post-mortem or post trauma brain growth)
• Nanobots

 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)

• Natural predators (dogs, wolves)
• Heat
• Cold
• Biting as a bad poor of transmission
• Inability to heal (which assumes dead zombies)
• Natural landscape barriers
• Weapons and people

And a terse list that fulfills a lot of our carnal desires:

5 Reasons You Secretly Want a Zombie Apocalypse

• Guilt Free Violence
• Free Stuff
• Simplicity
• Acting Like a Jerk
• Being the Alpha Dog

Even if the zombie, climate, political, or economic apocalypse doesn’t happen on the 21st, zombie haters will remain vigilant, stocked, and prepared.

It’s not a paranoia, it’s not a fear, or even a desire. It’s a mindset to think “what if” and “how can I be ready”.

Time to start the countdown.

It always starts small, and unnoticed, ignored by many and only glanced over by a few. The result is usually the same: thousands dead, bitten, rotting in the sewers. The news is just chomping at the bit with potential zombie sightings if you know where to look!

Mendocina, CA

It’s not just civilians and medical workers that get bitten by strange, enraged persons. The Ukiah Daily Journal reports of police officers falling victim to hungry, strange teeth.

Brett Klein, 53, of Kentfield, allegedly bit a Mendocino County Sheriff’s deputy and a warden of the California Department of Fish and Game on Thursday at 7 p.m. on Lansing St. in Mendocino. Before Klein could be restrained, the Deputy sustained an approximate 1-inch laceration on his face and the Deputy and Warden both sustained bite wounds from Klein, according to the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Office. Both the deputy and Warden had to receive medical treatment for their injuries at the Mendocino Coast District Hospital.

No further word if any sort of infection or illnesses were transmitted to the officers.

Cold Lake, AB

Our Canadian neighbors to the north are also not without suspicious persons, this time an unknown male makes a gruesome attack on a woman, who was later released. The St Catharine Standard reports on this  joint RCMP and Military effort to track down a strange, biting enlisted man.

Mounties suspect a British military member may have bit off part of a woman’s tongue in a Cold Lake bar. RCMP are working with British military police to identify a suspect, said Cold Lake RCMP. Police responded to a Cold Lake bar Oct. 3 and found a woman with part of her tongue missing… an unknown male bit it off, said RCMP. The woman went to hospital with serious injuries. She was released later in the day, but will need further medical attention.

Kirksville, MO

Faces again seem to be a popular target to attack and bite for persons infected in body or mind. The Heartland Connection reports on the following disturbing domestic violence attack.

A northeast Missouri man is accused of holding a woman down and biting her nose hard enough to draw blood. Police officers were called to Mountain’s apartment around 3 a.m. Friday regarding screaming and yelling inside the residence.  The victim told police Mountain held her down on the bed, started yelling and cursing at her, and then bit her nose.

Allentown, PA

Attacks are not just limited to males going berserk and biting people in fits of rage. Women can get bitey and even start swinging hammers around, as Allentown’s The Morning Call reports.

An Allentown woman was charged with biting a man several times and attacking him with a claw hammer late last week, according to court records. Police spoke to Panell who had injuries to several parts of his body. He was struck twice with the hammer, once to each arm. Panell was also bitten on his shoulder and his ankle and punched in the back of the head.

Perhaps it’s best to keep those zombie smashing hammers under the same, easily accessible lock and key as your firearms.

Oneida Castle, NY

And let’s not forget that ever curious rabies infection: cross species transmission, nasty saliva, mandatory brain inspection/destruction  and a particularly nasty countenance. A Capuchin monkey has been euthanized after escaping its owner and attacking a woman. Outbreak had a similar plot, although there’s no town nuking this time.

The monkey named Jada escaped from its home by opening a screen door. The animal later wandered into the woman’s yard in Oneida Castle, 25 miles east of Syracuse, and bit her on the finger as she played with her son Wednesday. Under New York state law, the monkey had to be tested for rabies. To check the animal for rabies, its brain tissue had to be examined.

The zombie apocalypse may be televised, but the news stations may not even know the potential horrors they’re reporting. Keep your ears tuned to those offbeat stories about rabies, biting, unprovoked attacks, strange diseases and military officials acting strangely.

Stay low, keep moving, and remain calm, but alert.

It would appear the government has been less than secret when it comes to zombie removal. (Stimulus Money Funds U.S. Dept. of Zombie Removal (Pic))

Minneapolis Appeals Court Rules Zombies Have Right To Free Speech ‘They slowly lurched down the halls and said things like, “Get your brains here.” Everything was going great until the police showed up’ – I don’t know how I feel about this. On one hand, zombies shouldn’t even be allowed to have lower jaws. On the other hand, these were fake zombies. So, go us?

The Crazies (2010) ‘A reinvention loosely based upon the George Romero classic of the same name, The Crazies is about the inhabitants of a small Kansas town suddenly plagued by insanity and then death after a mysterious toxin contaminates their water supply.’ – George Romero knows zombies aren’t always the reanimated dead. It makes it that much messier to have to kill live humans. At least you can aim for center of mass. But double-tap for sure. And don’t drink the water.

Man bites thumb in pub brawl bite – ‘A man bit the thumb of another man so hard that he nearly severed it during a fight outside a Sydney pub.’  - You think that’s a bite? Now THIS is a bite! Only in Australia.

Conn. man bites Cambridge Hospital security officer ‘Police responded to Cambridge Hospital for reports of an assault at 4:45 p.m. and found a security staff allegedly bit by a Connecticut man. The victim’s middle finger had been bitten through a glove, had teeth marks on it and was bleeding’ – Okay, I guess it happens in New England too. Time for better, more zombie bite proof gloves.

Woman bites a chunk out of her mom’s cheek in fight A woman ‘jumped on her mother “and bit her left cheek, causing a large chunk to be rended…’ – Will you be prepared to kill your relatives in the event of infection?

It won’t be fun. It will be people you know. It may be soon. Cheers!