They came last year. I tried to stop them. I, well, I failed.
Now they’re back.
Zombies are once again marching in Millenium Park. This time, it coincides with the Blues Festival, so it should certainly be interesting. Hopefully the only things being beaten by the cops will be boxes of donuts. I will be out of state on a recon mission. Think about it: if you knew zombies were coming, would you want to head right into the center of the mob? Sure, if you think you’re super awesome Mr. Headshot, but the best way to avoid becoming one is to avoid them altogether.
Last year, I found three or four fellow zombie killers. I hope more of you show up this year! Rememebr, if you’re coming with Nerf guns, keep them yellow or orange tape the tips. CPD is quite trigger happy. Represent zombie hunters world wide and send in your photos to sam at undead report dot com!
Zombie walks are a good theatrical produciton that serve well for training. It may even be advisable to act like a cowboy and steer the masses clear of the public.
More information can be found on the events Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=23561223992
The event is produced in part by Chicago Zombie. More information is available at their website, Chicago Zombie.
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Filed under: Preparedness · Simulation · Zombie Walk
This is why we can’t have nice things. Zombies.
The Undead Report has assembled a collection of gear including two-way radios, zombie survival guides, med kits, knives, spears, tools and more so you’ll be prepared for any disaster, but especially those full of the undead.
The Undead Report is launching a beta version of an Amazon-based online store featuring various zombie apocalypse, survival, and combat gear. Browse the
zombie apocalypse store, purchase a few things, and get yourself outfitted properly.
If the apocalypse never comes, you’ll at least have some cool stuff.
Be ready, stay low, keep moving.
Filed under: Books · Defense · Preparedness · Science · Weapons
Zombies aren’t necessarily undead, reanimated ghouls. Research at The Undead Report indicates zombies can be infected, crazed, uncontrollable rabid humans. You want to be sure one of them is dead? Aim for the head. Don’t stand there and let them bite you, infectious or not!
Joseph Lancellotti, a 67 year old greater New Orleans man was gardening at his home when a crazed man gibbering in Spanish ran up to him, hitting him in the head. During Lancellotti’s valiant struggle using a rake for defense, the strange man bit his arm and swallowed the flesh.
Bit his arm, and swallowed the flesh.
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Filed under: Preparedness · Sickness · Sighting
Last year, they came for beer. This year is no different.
Watch out Andersonville, next weekend is going to be full of beer/brain hungry undead ghouls on the prowl. The Chicago Zombie Pub Crawl is produced by by improv group pH Productions. Almost 400 zombies attended the first crawl, wandering the streets of Andersonville into Simon’s, Charlie’s Ale House and Hamburger Mary’s. The 2009 edition promises to be even bigger and better and hopes for even more undead fun. For the unfamiliar, a zombie walk is a group of people usually organized by email or a website who dress like zombies and lumber through town, usually just for fun. Some zombie walks start or finish at cemeteries, and others at pubs.
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Filed under: Brains · Preparedness · Zombie Walk
In Tennessee a City hall won’t succumb to zombie rights, and in Florida a non-discreetly labeled headline warns of zombie attacks on the elderly.
Chattanooga — The name may sound like something you’d hear a zombie moan as its mucus and pus filled maw begins to nom on your brains, but the clever denizens of this Tennessee town have their stuff together.
According to the Chattanooga Pulse, city hall won’t be having any organized zombie marches parading trough town.
City Hall has no official comment, but an unidentified source states that, “The city of Chattanooga will not tolerate zombies. What if one of those bloodthirsty monsters tries to eat a child? What if one of our venerable elderly citizens witnesses one of those horrible creatures walking across the Walnut Street Bridge and has a heart attack? We can’t let those freaks roam about in public freely; they need to continue to live in the shadows.”
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Filed under: Sighting · Undead
