An event produced by improv group pH productions, Chicago’s first zombie walk was a drunken growling pub crawl full of the worst people -  and I’m not talking about Cubs fans. The event in Andersonville kicked off around 4:30 PM, with particpants meeting and signing up, applying rouge, blood and makeup, and getting their complimentary t-shirts and tickets. There were at least a good hundred or so people at the start, who proceeded to the first bar in small groups. In total there were about 300 members of the undead shambling about. To see the photos, view the zombie photo section!
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Chicago is about to be invaded by the undead. That’s right, Chicago’s first ever undead preparedness exercise is coming this April. It may not be billed as zombie readiness, but It will be good practice and readiness training. For the unfamiliar, a zombie walk is a group of people usually organized by email or a website who dress like zombies and lumber through town, usually just for fun. Some zombie walks start or finish at cemeteries, and others at pubs. Zombies in the midwest have a known propensity for alcohol laden blood and brains, so this event will take place in several Chicago bars.

Set aside April 26! This Zombie Walk is a pub crawl in Chicago’s northside neighborhood of Andersonville, and takes place from 5pm - 8pm. The zombie pub crawl (21 and over only) is presented by pH Productions at Stage Left Theatre. Registration is $10 and includes a shirt, makeup kit and four tickets to a show. It’s time to dress the part and score some tasty Chicago brains.

More information can be found at http://chicagozombiepubcrawl.com.

Undead in Magazine and Books

This April, Discover Magazine’s ran an article about Wade Davis, the ethnobotanist who researched Haitian zombies. His work lead to the book and movie “The Serpent and the Rainbow”. He was the only white man to be initiated into the cult like secret societies, he learned the way to make real zombies;  the neurotoxin induced psychosis zombie made through voodoo zombie powder. Psychosis zombies come from a powdered derivative of TTX or tetrodotoxin, from certain puffer fish native to the Haitian waters.

Humor publications also run undead corpse and zombie related topics, The Onion most notably. Of spot-on interest is the article, “Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack“.

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View the real life zombie footage here.

Thanks guys, comment as always!

Personal Defense

You will need some sort of personal protection, and bullet resistant vests aren’t going to cut it. Yes, they are necessary, but only to a point. More appropriate would be hard impact bite and puncture resistant armor. The vest will be essential during the early stages, as a precaution against looters and hoodlums with guns, and general hysteria. You’ll want the hard shell armor for ongoing protection against damage and the undead.

There are several options available to the general consumer now, the pre-war time. Hockey and sports gear just won’t cut it. Sorry, Casey Jones. Some offer large amounts of padding, and others offer protective hard shells. Damascus Gear FlexForce is a fine set of protective gear. Billed as riot gear or crowd control gear, it will offer considerable protection against small melee battles with zombies.

The system protection from blunt force trauma without sacrificing fit or comfort. The suit is lightweight and allows for rapid mobility and flexibility, covering legs, front and rear torso, shoulders and arms. It can be found at various online realtors for under $500 USD. Alternatively, you can buy only the pieces you need. Hatch Centurion armor, while offering less protective gear, is another fine choice. Don’t skimp here. While a zombie may be able to bite you un unprotected areas, and you’ll still be easily ripped apart by a dozen zombies, not only will you be able to better defend yourself, you’ll look really cool.

Life Support

Things will stink. Literally. Rotting flesh, the dead and undead, garbage, sewers, health hazards, overturned trucks or trains. The apocalypse will be a messy, smelly, dangerous place to survive in. There are several options to make life last a little longer.

You will need a system for personal air filtration. Don’t buy a gas mask at your local Army Navy surplus store. They’re crap, they’re old and the filters won’t stop a fart. You’ll need something new and most likely, not as extreme.

If you were facing a human menace, a full head gas mask may be appropriate, but you won’t be. There will be no tear gas, CS gas VX gas or anything nasty like that. You may want a gas mask for the initial happening to prepare against the use of tear gas or crowd control agents, but after that, a respirator will suffice. It will be less weight, offer great mobility and ease of use.

The North 7700 half mask respirator will get the job done for you. At less than $30 (excluding filters), it’s a wise investment. You’ll need the best filters for the job though, HEPA P-100 filters help defend against nuclear biological and chemical agents, as well as asbestos and bacterial. You may find yourself in some nasty old buildings with three foot cement walls and asbestos floors. You’ll want this.

Daily Operations

Footwear

You’ll need tough gear to survive the aftermath. Do you think footwear manufacturers will still be making boots after the 2012 zombie holocaust? Then congratualtions, you’ll be left behind. You’ll want a fine pair of boots for the miles of walking you’ll doubtless grow accustomed to, and tennis shoes or sandals won’t cut it. They’ll hardly protect you from a puddle or dog poop, much less climbing over mountains of corpses.

You may find combat boots at your local milsur store, but for durability and longevity, you should go for something a little more refined. I recommend 5.11 Tactical’s boots. Tough, durable and comfortable, they offer hours of support and mobility and have several models available.

That’s right, you can run marathons in them. Besides comfort, they also offer chain-link fence climbing grips, rappeling grips, and options of side zippers and safety toes. 5.11 boots also come in kid and women friendly sizes.

I swear by 5.11 Tactical boots. I’ve been wearing my pair almost daily since I bought them two years ago. They remain durable, comfortable and can still take a shine for those formal events.

Gloves

Don’t forget your hands. You’re going to get dirty. And cut. And you’ll need to punch, rip and stab things. I wish i could offer an end-all be-all glove, but I can’t. So you’ll need several, and there are a few shining options you’ll need to carry on your person at all times.

For serious protection, I recommend the Ironclad Extreme Duty II. This mother rips through steel (if you’ve got the muscles) and offers a face-pounding diamond rubber palm and grip, rubberized knuckles and a gauntlet to prevent debris or infected brain matter from ruining your watch. The features on this glove may seem extreme, but you’ll be glad you have a pair when you’r reduced to smashing heads with big rocks and then throwing corpses onto a fire all day.

You’ll also need a pair for daily use and protection, or depending on if you’re trying to survive in a cold or hot climate. Under Armour makes all-purpose tactical gloves that offer insulation, grip and comfort. You don’t want to slip negotiating rickety ladders or having a lobotomizing weapon fly out of your hands to leave you defenseless.

Survival Gear

You will also need a full complement of gear for day to day survival, but this will vary widely depending on your situation and locale. I recommend a list of the following posessed by at least one member of your small and tight knit survival party.

• Crowbars / Sledge Hammers - useful for not only entry, but also smashing Zack’s head.
• Machetes / Blades - as Max Brooks points out, blades don’t need reloading. Preferably you’ll find one with a long, stay sharp blade.
• Torches - those crank and shake flashlights just don’t cut it n the long run. You’ll still need the power of super bright, long lasting LED torches or Maglites.
• Fire - you will need a sure source of fire, preferably attached in front of some kind of propellant. You’re gonna want to torch stuff at some point.

The apocalypse will be a scary time, and it won’t be for the timid. Whether its in 2012, 2009, or tomorrow, you’ll want to make sure you survive with your brain intact. The best way to do that is by preparing for the worst. Remember, use your head - destroy theirs.

Resources

• Damascus Gear FlexForce Armor
• North 7700 half mask respirator
• 5.11 Tactical ATAC Waterproof boots
• Ironclad Extreme Duty II Gloves
• Under Armour Tactical cold condition gloves

I touched a nerve with my earlier post about reanimated dogs heads. This is a followup to that post, as well as an addendum to my article about types of zombies. This would fall under the scientifically reanimated corpse.

In the 40’s, the Soviets were working on experiments involving reanimating mammals, specifically canines. In this film, witness the shock and horror as organs are reanimated though electricty and with mechanical hearts and lungs! Now, it’s noted that this is no outstanding feat, a human heart can operate with nutrient rich blood and plasma alone. What’s fascinating in this film, is the apparently conscious and reactive head of a dog. Is it merely muscle synapses and reflexes? Perhaps, but the dog shows a keen awareness to its surroundings, suggesting activated sight, sound and other senses.

Canines? Yes. Humans? Perhaps. How long can we wait? Hours or days? It stands that a reanimated human head would be responsive to its surroundings, and most likely not feral and try to eat you. This of course, begs the question of human souls and the like, where this news report will not go.

One thing remains certain. DESTROY THE BRAIN. You won’t see that dog head barking and licking its chops if it has no brain.

For the sake of this argument, I will be referring to a zombie as not a member of the undead, but rather human bodies acting seemingly without a will of their own, with an intention to consume, destroy, or otherwise cause general grief to the remaining human populace.

Zombies in popular culture form three distinct classes:

• Walking Dead - undead, walking dead or reanimated corpses
• Viral - viral, parasitic or infected humans
• Scientific - scientifically altered humans, through radiation, poisons or drugs, or psychic conditioning

The Walking Dead

Our current understanding of human physiology, biology and chemistry tell us that a human corpse cannot rise, reactivate or in any other way reanimate. There must exist an external stimulus to bring about reanimation. If such a stimulus succeeds in reanimating a corpse though electricity, nutrient rich serum, or some strange radioactive measure, the corpse will still have difficulty with life support. A reanimated brain can function and provide basic skills such as breathing, blood pumping and simple motor skills, operating on a primitive, feral level. The reanimated head and brain show signs of smell, taste hearing and sight. This is evidenced by previous Soviet and current American experiments. An undead person would have one thought: feed to keep the body moving. The only problem is, the entire body would also be reanimated and would need energy to survive, much like any other human does. Air, water, food. Assuming a physiology like that of the living, a heart shot would be just as effective in destroying the undead. Muscles need air and energy, and this is pumped by the blood.

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The most common primary weapon will probably be rifles, as machine guns and sub-machine guns are currently hard to come by for the general public. After the fall of military and policing units, they may be easier to acquire. Also common and equally as important, if not more destructive, is the shotgun. Current civilian shotguns are ususally limited to 2 or 5 rounds, or in the case of police issue Benellis a chamber of 8. This can be quite limiting when faced with large quantities of the undead. You need the rapid reload, fire and ammunition capacity of a sub-machine gun while harnessing the destructive power of the 12-gauge shotgun. The answer lies in a devestating new weapon being developed: the AA-12 Automatic Assault 12-gauge shotgun.

The reliability and usability of shotguns during a zombie outbreak is a hotly contested issue. On one hand, their ruggedness and stopping power are not to be underestimated. On the other hand, they take considerable time to reload and their muzzle climb and recoil negatively affect accuracy and successful headshot capability. The AA-12 seeks to eradicate these problems.

Carrying a 10, 20 or 32 round clip, firing a devastating 300 rounds per minute and having almost no muzzle climb or recoil, the AA-12 is the ultimate weapon for a zombie invasion. The only potential setback is such a weapon is not legal for a civilian to own as it has no legal sporting purpose. Durable, relaiable, strong and machined to withstand various climates, weather, water and grime, the AA-12 will maintain itself as a steadfast and deadly weapon for repelling undead hordes. Videos after the jump.

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Pittsburgh. Reanimated Corpses. The Zombie Holocaust.

Except this time, its not a movie.

Naturally, there are great medical benefits of prolonging death. It grants doctors more time to operate and save patients, but there remains a great unpredictable factor of bodily decay and brain rot associated with reanimating patients, even in a closely controlled setting. Even some of the dogs have suffered permanent damage.

I’m sorry, this center for reanimation is in fucking Pittsburgh. PITTSBURGH. Consistently the site of Hollywood zombie outbreaks, attacks, apocalypses, sightings, feasts and record-setting zombie mall walks. Those poor inhabitants of Monroeville, PA can ususally be found stumbling about in various states of decay and death, either at the mall, in the parking lot, or shambling the eight miles from the Safar Center for Zombie Creation.

The experiment bears a frightening similarity to that of Communist Russian scientists in the 1930’s that experimented with reanimating and sustaining life in severed dogs heads, as well as attaching multiple heads to single bodies. Surely this kind of practice cannot publicly be performed today, yet dogs remain an abundant and useful test subject for reanimation and resuscitation practices. A controversial communist Russia film was released in 1943 to American scientists. The video shows Reds working on a reanimated severed dogs head hooked up to an Autojektor, one of the first artificial hearts used to maintain life.

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The 2012 thing - if you’re reading this article, chances are you’re already familiar with it. The 2012 thing refers to the conveniently predicted end-of-the-world or great change coming December 21st, 2012. Many apocalypse theories are vague and dark, leaving many details rough, ambiguous and open to interpretation. The 2012 eschaton comes from several cultures and gives us a very certain date to prepare not necessarily for the end of existence or the world, but “the end of the world as we know it” - TEOTWAWKI.

The date of 12/21/12 is derived from the end of a 5,125 year cycle for the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar, most notably used by the Maya civilization. The calendar completes its 13th cycle from its starting point. Correlating the Mayan date to our Gregorian calendar yields several different dates ranging from the 21str through the 23rd, but the 21st seems likely, as it coincides with the winter solstice, and though astrology has little to do with our daily affairs, astronomically the Earth is said to be aligned facing the center of the Milky Way behind the Sun on the 21st. This interesting termination of the calendar in our immediate lifetimes is waht brings many to reckon the date will bring about great global change or cataclism.

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