Colony Collapse Disorder is destroying honey bee populations around America. Honey bees are an integral and essential but fragile part of the food chain. Unfortunately like we humans, they are not immune to virii and zombie parasites.

Discovery of the bee parasite and their subsequent strange death came as a surprise to researcher John Hafernik at San Francisco State University. He made the discovery by accident, after he foraged some bees to feed to a praying mantis. The bees were left unattended in a vial and soon began to die, but not in the usual way of sitting still and curling up.

“They kept stretching [their legs] out and then falling over,” said his graduate student Andrew Core. “It really painted a picture of something like a zombie.”

The parasite Apocephalus borealis lays its eggs in the bee’s abdomen. The larvae then push their way into the world, often exiting between the bee’s head and thorax.

The quote from the graduate student is surely sensational and perhaps taken slightly out of context, but mass honey bee death is still quite unsettling. This parasite could be working in combination with many other factors, leading to the mass die-offs. Regardless, there’s only one thing worse than bees.

Zombees.

‘Zombie’ fly hijacks bees’ bodies and may explain die-off (USA Today)

Fly parasite turns honey bees into ‘zombies’: study (AFP)

Parasites spark swarm of zombie bees (The Register)

 One year left.

Z-Day. 2012. The Mayan zombie super-apocalypse. Sensational journalism. Paranoid survivalists. Gun nuts. People out having fun. Boy scouts taking their preparedness to the next level. If you can be ready for this, you can be ready for anything.

2012 and the end of the world has been discussed at length here (dozens of comments pending) and elsewhere. This site naturally leans towards a zombie apocalypse on the 21st of December, 2012. We’re zombie fans, we love this stuff. Take it with a grain of salt as you will. True,  most apocalypse theories and end time projections lack scientific evidence, but we don’t really care. If we can prepare in a year for a be-all end-all apocalypse of local or global scale based on humans turning into something decidedly less human, you can count on a zombie preparedness expert to get you out of a jam, change a flat tire, whip up delicious scorpion stew, or have a solid sate of mind to hear your own fears. We’re there for you, but we won’t hesitate to end it real quick if you decide to get all bitey on us. Just don’t expect us to share our escape strategies and survival plans with anyone, even our loved ones. They will be revealed when necessary.

Doomsday 2012 will certainly be creeping into mainstream media as the year progresses. You may count on a few groups or individuals even creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Y2K, Heaven’s Gate, May21, 2011 — the dates have come and gone, and some of us remain. That may be true come a year, but it doesn’t mean our curiosity will be satisfied on the 22nd.

Research indicates it will be the “Boyle” rage virus, still alive human type of zombie. If you’re looking for evidence, all it takes is a few Google searches and Cracked’s RSS feed. Cracked has posted numerous articles about Z-day. Here’s a few relevant ones to bring you up to speed.

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

• Brain parasites (such as toxoplasma or Naegleria fowleri)
• Neurotoxins (like tetrodotoxin)
• Rage Virus (think advanced rabies)
• Neurogenesis (stem cell research causes post-mortem or post trauma brain growth)
• Nanobots

 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)

• Natural predators (dogs, wolves)
• Heat
• Cold
• Biting as a bad poor of transmission
• Inability to heal (which assumes dead zombies)
• Natural landscape barriers
• Weapons and people

And a terse list that fulfills a lot of our carnal desires:

5 Reasons You Secretly Want a Zombie Apocalypse

• Guilt Free Violence
• Free Stuff
• Simplicity
• Acting Like a Jerk
• Being the Alpha Dog

Even if the zombie, climate, political, or economic apocalypse doesn’t happen on the 21st, zombie haters will remain vigilant, stocked, and prepared.

It’s not a paranoia, it’s not a fear, or even a desire. It’s a mindset to think “what if” and “how can I be ready”.

Time to start the countdown.

It’s coming. Soon. Are you prepared? The CDC and your girlfriend want you to be prepared for any disaster, zombie, hurricane or running out of chapstick crapstorm that may happen. If you plan ahead and think about how the proverbial shit may hit the fan, and to what degree, your preparedness will pay off in the short and long term.

There are a zillion things you can use for weapons, as you’re most likely aware. Some practical, some extreme, some personal — weapon choice is highly contested and left for another debate. The following are a few (non-weapon) items to get you started for a variety of scenarios on a reasonable budget.

1 - Gas mask. You want something real, not an old Israeli or Canadian something or other that you can’t trust. Nerve agents may be used. Corpses may stink. You may just want to intimidate the dead.

Recommendation:  SGE 400/3 NBC Full Facepiece Respirator ($175). Fun tip: if you get confused with the enraged zombies and are hit with tear gas (CS gas), rub Maalox on your face. CS gas is an acidic powder and the Maalox counteracts it. Milk helps as well.

Short term: Awesome to have, useful to prevent mesothelioma if you’re crawling in forbidden places of urban exploration. Long term: keeping your ass alive.

2 - Communication. How will you rally the troops and order for a zombie skin pizza? While some services may remain in the early hours of an apocalypse, you’ll need something for short and long distance communication. Radios. A few pocket radios and a trusty CB for your vehicle will help you stay alert and alive.

Recommendation – Good ol’ GMRS walkie talkies. Look for something that can handle water getting on it and is rugged enough to be dropped. Motorola makes a decent pair, though you’ll never get more than two or three miles out of any GMRS radio.

Short term: Great for road trips. Long term: coordinating information and trolling other survivors on the channel.

3 – Multi-tool or knife. Stuff will need cutting, fixing, and stabbing. It will also need opening, wrenching and prying. It’s best to have a tool at your side that can serve many functions. No uni-taskers on your belt.

Recommendation: Gerber Multi-Tool ($48).

Short term: you may use it every day. Long term: Again, this could save your life.

4 – Boots. Comfort is a must, and this is a very personal choice. You’ll want ankle protection and good traction. Leather provides ample room, protection and is fairly light weight, but its warmth and water resistance can falter occasionally.

Recommendation: 5-11 ATAC Boot ($99). I also recommend Carolina 923 ($160). Leather and wool treat one well, in summer or winter.

Short term: come on, you look smashing! Long term: Staying comfortable and protecting your tender toes.

5 – Torch. Here, too, you want reliability over features. You’re going to need a long life flashlight over something super bright with strobes. Practicality over wishful thinking.

Recommendation: The ever reliable, had it for years and I’ve used it underwater Mini Maglite.

Short term: Stop using your cell phone. Long term: Stop using your cell phone.

6 – Entertainment. You don’t want to be bored do you? Just because its the end of the world doesn’t mean it has to be the end of fun. A small MP3 player with USB charging is ideal, but don’t forget a small radio with aux input or SW radio capabilities to share the news and tunes.

Recommendation – Your personal MP3 player or Wind-up SW radio receiver ($50). There are many on the market, but make sure it has wind up auxiliary power, and if possible an aux input for your MP3 player.

Short term: You probably already have one. Long term: Sanity.

7 – Medical treatment. It’s not the cut or bite that kills, its the infection and bacteria. You’ll want to keep those wounds clean and address them quickly. There are many First Aid Kits (FAKs) on the market, but be sure to inspect it and customize it to your needs. Pack anti-mosquito spray if you’re in the jungle, frostbite kits for the frozen north, and so forth.

Recommendation: Voodoo FAK ($50). An alternative is to buy and empty pouch and then customize to your needs. Dont forget knives and scissors.

Short term: Hangnails. Long term: Rigor mortis prevention.

8 – Power. You’re going to need to power your radios, music players, GPS’s and floodlights somehow. Solar collectors and battery chargers are your friends. Think versatility: 12V accessory, USB, and small inverters. You want to charge some gadgets, not blow dry your hair, so you don’t need a massive system.

Rubber shoes in motion! Thanks to TeslaDownUnder.com

Recommendation – A battery and USB charger in one. Try the XTG Solar Charger ($25) for AA, AAA and USB Charging.

Short term: Being green. Long term: Keeping you moving and operating.

9 – Directions. You’ll need to get around, and your smart phone will probably not cut it anymore. It’s time for tried and true means of getting your bearings. Map and compass; with them, you are never lost.

Recommendation – Road atlas and sturdy metal compass. You can pick both up at a hardware store or large gas station for around $20. Paper maps will do you well to make notes, plan courses, and find points of interest.

Short term: It’s good to know how to use these for the Long Term: Prevent doubling back, getting lost, and winding up in Atlanta. The city is always full of the Walken Dead.

10 – Rope. You never know when you’re gonna need rope. Tying bundles, rigging a shelter, hauling equipment or lashing down some undead, make sure you have a decent supply of rope, and know your knots. Simple knots and good rope can get you up a building, down a cliff, or save your life.

Recommendation: Charlie Bronson’s always got rope.

What else would you recommend for robust preparedness in any situation? Leave your comments below.

You may be worried about the apocalypse. If you’re a regular at this site, you’re probably quite familiar with it. On a deep personal level, you may even be scared about it, but dissuade yourself often that such a thing could never happen. Chalk that up to being human and being optimistic. When the apocalypse comes, we may just deny its actually arrived.

Researchers in Europe designed a test for participants to determine how people planned for negative events in the future. It turns out, our optimism may screw up our reasoning, even with statistics of said negative events to aid us.

This human propensity toward optimism is facilitated by the brain’s failure to code errors in estimation when those call for pessimistic updates. This failure results in selective updating, which supports unrealistic optimism that is resistant to change.

Statistically, if you think bad things may happen more often — and plan accordingly — you’ll be better prepared. It’s not far stretched to be advised in your zombie apocalypse planning to engage the possibility of natural disasters, meteors and avalanches at the same time.

Be aware of your own optimism. Right now you may be thinking “ah, but when it does hit the fan, I’ll be surviving with my mates in the Army base the next state over, and we’ll all drink beer and have a laugh”. It’s a good idea, and you’ve taken a few steps towards your survival. Perhaps you’re still a little too happy about the whole thing. This is the apocalypse. Someone has to die. Plan for that eventual bite.

Thanks to Reader Lisa for the tip.

How unrealistic optimism is maintained in the face of reality  via

IO9 : Your brain won’t allow you to believe the apocalypse could actually happen 

Zombies, as well as the cinema fanbases, are split into two kingdoms: The George Romero Zombie and the Danny Boyle Zombie. The Romero Zombie is the reanimated, once alive and now dead walking corpse. The Boyle Zombie is the rage infected, fully alive, maddened and contagious, murderous human being.

While this website may discuss cinema on occasion, it focuses on actual zombies, their creation and destruction. National Geographic in conjunction with several scientists and virologists has studied zombies as well and further backs the Boyle Zombie as a potential holocaust agent.

Rabies is a viral disease that infects the central nervous system and can drive people to be violently mad, according to Samita Andreansky, a virologist at the University of Miami’s Miller School of Medicine. Combine rabies with the ability of a flu virus to spread quickly through the air, and you  have the makings of a zombie apocalypse.

If the genetic code of the rabies virus experiences enough mutations, its incubation time could be reduced dramatically, scientists say. Many viruses have naturally high mutation rates and constantly change as a means of evading or bypassing the defenses of their hosts, however viruses aren’t known to hybridize or change so dramatically in nature. There are various ways viral mutations can occur, such as  through copying mistakes during gene replication or damage from ultraviolet light.

Time to start carrying more antibacterial hand sanitizer.

“Zombie Virus” Possible via Rabies-Flu Hybrid?

If you can be prepared for a zombie apocalypse, you can prepared for almost anything. At least, that’s how the line of thinking goes. If one can have all the food, water, shelter and materials to survive a complete lack of human civilization, one should easily be able to survive a tornado, hurricane or flooding. This is a common thought shared by many zombie fans and survivalists and is our tying thread to reality. Yet when the message comes from the Centers for Disease Control, it’s still a bit creepy.

Considering the Rapture is supposed to happen this Saturday the 21st of May, you’ll need a plan, and you’ll need it quick. Even the Bible fortells of zombies, where people long to die and do not find death, so maybe they’re on to something.

And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.

- Revelation 9:6

The CDC warns that with the possibility of a zombie apocalypse, you’ll want your plan to share the common things with any survival plan, but they neglect to mention such important things as a sturdy bladed weapon, firearm, or other suitable projectile weapon.

• Water, one gallon / person / day
• Food, especially non perishable items
• Medications, prescription, painkillers and other OTC
• Tools and Supplies, including knives, duct tape, radios (don’t forget paracord)
• Sanitation supplies, such as bleach soap and towels
• Clothing and bedding (a change of clothes would be welcome in a long term situation, as well as a backpack to carry things)
• Important documents, such as passport, drivers license, (and may I add FOID card if you’re in Illinois)
• First Aid Kits

The Undead Report also recommends:

• Kukri / Sword / Axe
• Pocket Knives
• Staff
• Pistol / Crossbow
• Rifle / Compound Bow
• Bicycle or reliable motorized transit

The warning states that you’ll need a meeting location when the zombies come, as well as an escape route for your home. This is the kind of information that gets filtered out before something terrible happens. CDC claims that they would handle an outbreak of zombism the way they would handle any other outbreak, through study, containment and control.

The post is written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, whose personal favorite film is the Resident Evil franchise. You know, the one where the zombie virus is created in a laboratory, and then agents are dispatched to deal with it.

That’s reassuring.

According to a Fox News interview about the article, CDC spokesman Dave Daigle said it was a tongue-in-cheek post in response to someone asking CDC officials if zombies would be a concern due to radiation fears surrounding the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant in Japan.

While it’s a good thing that the CDC is trying to get citizens prepared for such a horrendous pandemic, I hope the tongue-in-cheek humor does not apply to their own precautions and preparedness for a zombie outbreak. This is serious stuff and should not be taken so lightly.

Do remain vigilant, do remain prepared, and do take this official government post with a grain of salt. But don’t let your guard down.

From the CDC: Social Media: Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse

In your pursuit of information about survival,  zombies and the undead, don’t forget to do research on other websites and blogs. A fantastic place for survival advice, hero training, life coaching, cooking and more can be found at the Art of Manliness.

If you’re readying yourself for a long term survival situation, zombies or not, you’re going to want to be proficient with a rifle for defense, hunting, or just recreation. Some pertinent information from the article follows.

The Four Cardinal Safety Rules of Firing a Rifle

1. Always treat every firearm as if it were loaded. No ifs, ands, or buts. Even if you know the gun is unloaded, still handle it as if it were loaded. (I’d like to add a better practice is to remember that every gun is loaded. Keeping that in mind clears any questions. Every gun is loaded.)

2. Always keep the firearm pointed in a safe direction, a direction where a negligent discharge would cause minimum property damage and zero physical injury. Make darn sure the thing you’re pointing at needs a new hole in it.

3. Always keep your trigger finger off the trigger and outside the trigger guard until you have made a conscious decision to shoot.

4. Always be sure of your target, backstop, and beyond. You want to be aware of what’s in your line of fire. This isn’t usually a concern if you go to a professional gun range. They make sure that people and property stay out of the path of the guns firing downrange. Where this becomes a concern is when you go shoot with your buddy out on his property. This is especially important when firing high powered rifles as their bullets travel further than bullets fired from a handgun.

And may I add a fifth:

5. The sights are on the top of the gun for a reason. No Hollywood or gangster stuff kids, you’re trying to conserve ammunition and hit a target, not look like an idiot.

How to Shoot a Rifle (The Art of Manliness)

More firearm articles from Art of Manliness:

How to Fire a Handgun Safely and Correctly

The Best Guns for Home Defense

Is your gas mask ready? Are you susceptible to loud noises or outgorwing your food supply? You may end up like one of millions of animals falling from the sky, dropping dead or washing ashore.

It’s strange that it seems to affect just one species — blackbirds, drumfish — but it’s not extremely rare. About every three years, the western coast of Michigan becomes a graveyard for millions of starved alewives. Still, the hazmat team dispatch with which authorites responded to the New Years’ blackbird deaths is slightliy unsettling.

The official explanation is “blunt force trauma” due to being startled by fireworks and crashing into things.

Downriver from the blackbirds, 100,000 drum fish die en masse. Fingers are pointed at industrial wastes, pollution, and the conspiracy theorists blame HAARP or even the UFOs. Nothing is reanimated yet, however.

A Google Map has been constructed which pinpoints deaths, numbers and species, and is being updated as more reports come in. One must remember, that like “shark week”, the data presented does not necessarily point to anything strange.

View Mass Animal Deaths in a larger map

The strange mass deaths aren’t just affecting fish and fowl — mammals are susceptible too. In Wisconsin, 200 cows have dropped dead fromwhat has now been reported as some form of disease. Many semi trucks were needed to haul away the dead cattle.

Stranger still are 1,000 turtledoves falling dead in Italy with a strange blue stain on their beaks. It should be noted that experts claim they were dead due to overeating and lack of oxygen at altitude. Scientists have said the Magnetic North Pole is shifting at an average of around 25 miles a year, which could be causing the bird deaths, or perhaps even be a precursor to magnetic or geographic pole shift.

Stay tuned to the Undead Report’s Facebook Wall for reports from this website and other readers.

In my wanderings across the news, horror, feeds and depths of the Internets for all things zombie, there’s one thing I forgot: Tabloids. As Tommy Lee Jones said in MIB, they are the “Best investigative reporting on the planet. But go ahead, read the New York Times if you want. They get lucky sometimes.”

The Weekly World News had this gem:”BRAIN-EATING VACCINES TURN AMERICANS INTO ZOMBIES”

ALBUQUERQUE, NM – The U.S. government is using brain-eating chemicals to turn Americans into Zombies.

The mainstream media and the scientific dictatorship of the United States Federal Government is giving Americans brain-eating vaccines and putting brain-eating chemicals into the water supply. These chemicals, whether ingested by mouth or injected through the skin, virtually rewire minds into a state of subservient compliance so that their natural instinct to rebel against tyranny is neutered. They also make people want to eat more broccoli.

However, as reported a few years ago, brain eating amoeba found in lakes in the American Southwest has been known to slowly kill people with zombie like symptoms.

A similar article can be read here, with talking head video. Brain Eating Vaccine: Alex Jones on Vaccines (Image courtesy this article).

This is fantastic stuff. Whether you follow conspiracies, zombie culture, or have your escape plan ready — stay in the know. Remember, stay low, keep moving, and remember to double tap.

There are no more bullets. All rounds have been fired into head upon head of relentless zombie, including those from your plentiful .22; not like it mattered — the darn reports drew every curious Deadite and the occasional rabbit from miles around. What else to do? Your trusty AR-15 is now your trusty bayonet holder and club. If only you could retrieve your ammo, and perhaps be a bit more silent next time.

It won’t be all bullets and blades in the zombie apocalypse. Especially if your country has banned sharp and/or explody things. Enter the humble crossbow, modified, re-engineered, and accurate enough for the zombie apocalypse.

You won’t want to be swinging that sword or knife the whole apocalypse right? Your arm’s going to get tired pretty quickly. By using arrows and darts, you can retrieve that ammo, wipe off zombie goo and reload. The PSE Tac 15 is that mighty weapon which will enable you to stalk your undead prey in the dark, without risking exposure from brilliant flashes or noisy reports (and yes, suppressed fire is still loud). The Tac 15 attaches to your standard AR-15 lower receiver, and accepts all standard rail mounting hardware. Scopes, stocks, lights, lasers, grips, bipods — you name it.

Yes,  I sell it here. Click below or visit the Undead Report’s  Zombie Hunting Gear Store for the Apocalypse.

The PSE Tac-15. Click to buy now!

The Tac 15 uses special bolts designed to fly true and accurately, as well as to withstand te immense power coming from this machine. The bolts fly at 412 fps with 160 ft-lbs of kinetic energy. Yeah, you’ll kill more than  few zeds with this. Be sure to rinse off those bolts before you use them for game hunting.

See also:

Tac15.com — the official site of this mean machine.

The PSE TAC-15 super weapon of the Zombiclypse