Zombie Apocalypse 2012 Swiftly Approaches

By Zombie Hunter Sam

 One year left.

Z-Day. 2012. The Mayan zombie super-apocalypse. Sensational journalism. Paranoid survivalists. Gun nuts. People out having fun. Boy scouts taking their preparedness to the next level. If you can be ready for this, you can be ready for anything.

2012 and the end of the world has been discussed at length here (dozens of comments pending) and elsewhere. This site naturally leans towards a zombie apocalypse on the 21st of December, 2012. We’re zombie fans, we love this stuff. Take it with a grain of salt as you will. True,  most apocalypse theories and end time projections lack scientific evidence, but we don’t really care. If we can prepare in a year for a be-all end-all apocalypse of local or global scale based on humans turning into something decidedly less human, you can count on a zombie preparedness expert to get you out of a jam, change a flat tire, whip up delicious scorpion stew, or have a solid sate of mind to hear your own fears. We’re there for you, but we won’t hesitate to end it real quick if you decide to get all bitey on us. Just don’t expect us to share our escape strategies and survival plans with anyone, even our loved ones. They will be revealed when necessary.

Doomsday 2012 will certainly be creeping into mainstream media as the year progresses. You may count on a few groups or individuals even creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Y2K, Heaven’s Gate, May21, 2011 — the dates have come and gone, and some of us remain. That may be true come a year, but it doesn’t mean our curiosity will be satisfied on the 22nd.

Dixie Square Mall, Blues Brothers, Chicago

Research indicates it will be the “Boyle” rage virus, still alive human type of zombie. If you’re looking for evidence, all it takes is a few Google searches and Cracked’s RSS feed. Cracked has posted numerous articles about Z-day. Here’s a few relevant ones to bring you up to speed.

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

  • Brain parasites (such as toxoplasma or Naegleria fowleri)
  • Neurotoxins (like tetrodotoxin)
  • Rage Virus (think advanced rabies)
  • Neurogenesis (stem cell research causes post-mortem or post trauma brain growth)
  • Nanobots

 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)

  • Natural predators (dogs, wolves)
  • Heat
  • Cold
  • Biting as a bad poor of transmission
  • Inability to heal (which assumes dead zombies)
  • Natural landscape barriers
  • Weapons and people

And a terse list that fulfills a lot of our carnal desires:

5 Reasons You Secretly Want a Zombie Apocalypse

  • Guilt Free Violence
  • Free Stuff
  • Simplicity
  • Acting Like a Jerk
  • Being the Alpha Dog

Even if the zombie, climate, political, or economic apocalypse doesn’t happen on the 21st, zombie haters will remain vigilant, stocked, and prepared.

It’s not a paranoia, it’s not a fear, or even a desire. It’s a mindset to think “what if” and “how can I be ready”.

Time to start the countdown.

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Filed Under: 2012 · Defense · Preparedness · Reanimation · Science · Undead

23 million infected

  • 1 kyle Jan 2, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    im ready just need to know if there will be any other survivors in the uk p.s. anyone got tips for safe cracking?

  • 2 Dookie791 Jan 3, 2012 at 11:49 am

    I’m all good on supplies. Buying up some old iPod shuffles and small speakers for a good distraction, plus some flares. I hope it isn’t a waste of cash.

  • 3 Gail Jan 3, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    Thanks for keeping us on topic!

  • 4 Cody Jan 4, 2012 at 7:44 am

    kyle if ther is no survivors or if my freind in britan needs help ill fly ther in a chinook and pick u guys up jus give me a location and ill be there.

  • 5 Cody Jan 4, 2012 at 7:46 am

    oh and dookie whats the flares for the flares were a wast of cash because there is a wind up flash light u can get from sharper image it comes with a swiss army knife as well

  • 6 Cody Jan 4, 2012 at 7:48 am

    wher didu find the black nerf guns sam ive been looking for a pair of those

  • 7 Zombie Hunter Sam Jan 5, 2012 at 2:28 am

    Hand modified and painted by me, sir. Modding is life.

  • 8 Cody Jan 5, 2012 at 8:51 am

    they look bad ass

  • 9 hunter Jan 5, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    when you say rage virus (advanced rabies) I believe there is already a virus for that its kinda like a mutated rabies virus lyssavirus x or known by lyssa x or rabies x

  • 10 hunter Jan 5, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    i believe theres an advanced rabies called lyssa x short for lyssavirus x but is also known as rabies x

  • 11 Jimmy Jan 11, 2012 at 2:22 am

    haha i agree with the laast part about why we secretly want and fantisize about a zombie apocolypse, and agree with the reasons it would fail epically because it would mainly if you waited it out a few months the zombies would rott and decay down to nothing.. also the rage virus is like suped up mad cow deasie instead of rabies but dont really get the mixture of mayan2012 paranoia with zombies

  • 12 jay Jan 11, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    kyle in from the u.k :)

  • 13 Dookie791 Jan 12, 2012 at 7:44 am

    I’m activelly checking around all the 2012 apocalypse websites I can find, and they all are very ill prepared. “I’ll run to the gun shop” he says. Except most of the well known Zed-Apocalypse have a shop and the serious ones will spend some cash on selling better equipment. I guess we just wish it would happen. What will I do with all my supplies if the End doesn’t happen? Atleast I’m ready.

  • 14 Cody Jan 12, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Dude that would suck especialy if i learned how to hack ARea 51 for nothin

  • 15 reuben Jan 19, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Hey Guys, I live in the UK. The Midlands. I live with my girlfriend and our little girl. I have been collecting military surplus for a while now, rifles, bayonets, cannons, ect. i have fortified our loft, its cramped but you could easily live in there. its not a permanent thing, its more to do with the fact it could be on our streets and we have no direction to go execpt up. there is over 300 tins of beans, and 50 bags of rice, with plenty of gasmasks, nbc suits, ect (i know gas creating the undead is a longshot but better safe than sorry) we also have a bomb shelter in our garden with a hidden entrance.

    the idea is to sit tight, and quiet, no attention to ourselves, no noise, just sit tight, prepare for a fight.

    i have weapons ready, close and long range, medical supplies, food, water, shelter, a car (with spare tires and gas, also metal guards made to fit the windows, incase we ave no shelter and need to rest) and even clothing. lightweight stuff for the summers and hot days, windproof, warm for winter and waterproof for the rain.

    no ‘plan’ as to where we’d go. travel up and down the uk, keep moving, taking all the supplies we need as we move.

    just wondering, can anyone think of anything else we may need?

    we also have the little things like, torches, rope, even a grappling hook to absail down buildings if neccesary.

  • 16 bosaiguy Feb 20, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    Wow.I see a lot of comments here from people that say they have stocked up and are ready for anything.Then they go on to say that they plan on moving around and just take what they need from others, because of all the guns they(say) they have. Just wondering,If those they plan on taking from, will also posesss weapons, and are hunkered down at their retreat and just waiting for some idiot with a BB gun or Air Soft Uzi to come along and allow them a bit of target practice?

  • 17 Ljr Mar 22, 2012 at 1:27 am

    Horse ftw don’t need gas or tyres or shit pluse I live in old brisbane on 40 Akers and have a self sufeshint house solar panel water tank ps do you think a 22 will kill a zombie

  • 18 Xandafer Mar 29, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    Questions! It’s 2012 and I have seen absolutely no TRUE evidence of zombies other than rumors. Do you have some sort of oracle or time travel device to say that’s the exact day of apocalypse? Also what do you mean by end of the world by zombies? Is that like when the entire earth is suppose to be zombified? Because it’s the end of march going on April and I have yet to see 1 zombie.It’s just a trick so people like you can buy their stuff and get them money.

  • 19 logan Apr 17, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    ohh shiiiit i hane a zombie around my house i dont have a weapon wat should i do

  • 20 David May 25, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    Watch Zombieland for some good tips to surviving an apocalypse. Make sure you stock up and you always know your way in and out of any situation. IE: windows, doors, vents, etc

  • […] Even if the zombie, climate, political, or economic apocalypse doesn’t happen on the 21st, zombie haters will remain vigilant, stocked, and prepared.  It’s not a paranoia, it’s not a fear, or even a desire. It’s a mindset to think “what if” and “how can I be ready”.  Source of this article: Undead Report. […]

  • 22 Hunter12521 Jun 5, 2012 at 2:13 am

    Remember if you use guns, silencers are a must!!! Don’t want more of the horde being attracted to the noise

  • 23 Anonymous Z-Killer Dec 20, 2012 at 11:33 am

    5 hours left.
    If there is gonna be a zombie apocalypse..
    I wish you all the best of luck. Take care out there! And remember: Silencers and only move during the day! Find shelter and survivers but be warned of crazy people!

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