Zombie Outbreaks Always Start with “Man Bites” Headlines

By Zombie Hunter Sam

It always starts small, and unnoticed, ignored by many and only glanced over by a few. The result is usually the same: thousands dead, bitten, rotting in the sewers. The news is just chomping at the bit with potential zombie sightings if you know where to look!

Mendocina, CA

It’s not just civilians and medical workers that get bitten by strange, enraged persons. The Ukiah Daily Journal reports of police officers falling victim to hungry, strange teeth.

Brett Klein, 53, of Kentfield, allegedly bit a Mendocino County Sheriff’s deputy and a warden of the California Department of Fish and Game on Thursday at 7 p.m. on Lansing St. in Mendocino. Before Klein could be restrained, the Deputy sustained an approximate 1-inch laceration on his face and the Deputy and Warden both sustained bite wounds from Klein, according to the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Office. Both the deputy and Warden had to receive medical treatment for their injuries at the Mendocino Coast District Hospital.

No further word if any sort of infection or illnesses were transmitted to the officers.

Cold Lake, AB

Our Canadian neighbors to the north are also not without suspicious persons, this time an unknown male makes a gruesome attack on a woman, who was later released. The St Catharine Standard reports on this  joint RCMP and Military effort to track down a strange, biting enlisted man.

Mounties suspect a British military member may have bit off part of a woman’s tongue in a Cold Lake bar. RCMP are working with British military police to identify a suspect, said Cold Lake RCMP. Police responded to a Cold Lake bar Oct. 3 and found a woman with part of her tongue missing… an unknown male bit it off, said RCMP. The woman went to hospital with serious injuries. She was released later in the day, but will need further medical attention.

Kirksville, MO

Faces again seem to be a popular target to attack and bite for persons infected in body or mind. The Heartland Connection reports on the following disturbing domestic violence attack.

A northeast Missouri man is accused of holding a woman down and biting her nose hard enough to draw blood. Police officers were called to Mountain’s apartment around 3 a.m. Friday regarding screaming and yelling inside the residence.  The victim told police Mountain held her down on the bed, started yelling and cursing at her, and then bit her nose.

Allentown, PA

Attacks are not just limited to males going berserk and biting people in fits of rage. Women can get bitey and even start swinging hammers around, as Allentown’s The Morning Call reports.

An Allentown woman was charged with biting a man several times and attacking him with a claw hammer late last week, according to court records. Police spoke to Panell who had injuries to several parts of his body. He was struck twice with the hammer, once to each arm. Panell was also bitten on his shoulder and his ankle and punched in the back of the head.

Perhaps it’s best to keep those zombie smashing hammers under the same, easily accessible lock and key as your firearms.

Oneida Castle, NY

And let’s not forget that ever curious rabies infection: cross species transmission, nasty saliva, mandatory brain inspection/destruction  and a particularly nasty countenance. A Capuchin monkey has been euthanized after escaping its owner and attacking a woman. Outbreak had a similar plot, although there’s no town nuking this time.

The monkey named Jada escaped from its home by opening a screen door. The animal later wandered into the woman’s yard in Oneida Castle, 25 miles east of Syracuse, and bit her on the finger as she played with her son Wednesday. Under New York state law, the monkey had to be tested for rabies. To check the animal for rabies, its brain tissue had to be examined.

The zombie apocalypse may be televised, but the news stations may not even know the potential horrors they’re reporting. Keep your ears tuned to those offbeat stories about rabies, biting, unprovoked attacks, strange diseases and military officials acting strangely.

Stay low, keep moving, and remain calm, but alert.

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Filed Under: Sickness · Sightings

7 million infected

  • 1 Logan Nov 15, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    This stuff creeps me the hell out.

  • 2 Reporter CJ Verbowski Nov 16, 2010 at 11:29 am

    Information has recently been discovered the infection is a type-A Anti-Virus.

    The Virus reacts to the humans white cells and turns them into a skin eating bacteria, how this happens is still unknown to the Goverment, the other officials that are interacting with the subject.

    People in Maine, Have been taking refuge in a small town. The name of the town has been classified due to recent military movements outside the town, they have fenced the town off from the surrounding areas, anyone that attempts to get into will be denied access.

    The skin eating bacteria.
    Virus A has been known to destroy muscle mass, and destroy parts of the brain, what is left is leaving the host in a primative state, the only thing the host knows what, and how, to do is to feed.

    We know little of how the Virus-Bacteria, and how it works, only the final stage of the hosts after the infection.

    Several Precautions have been Evaluated, Yet none have been in aid of helping after the first infection.
    Further News within 24-Hour Basis.

  • 3 gman11 Nov 16, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    time to start preparing

  • 4 frostsnowman Nov 18, 2010 at 7:08 am

    y does this stuff creep you the hell out?

  • 5 John Nov 18, 2010 at 7:39 am

    Aww hell no !
    already people start biting each other ?
    i still remeber the days when i was a kid, there was a new kid in class, who bit every single one that annoyed him, he normaly bit only the teachers, i guess because they were adults, but i doubt he was zombie infected or anything, just problems with his head i guess.

    But, what if people started acting weird because of this whole “zombie outbreak” thingy ?
    i mean, they wanted to pull off a prank (even if its not 1st in april).

    Oh well, thanks god nothing happend in israel so far.

  • 6 zombie slayer Dec 15, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    for real guys i have seen some weird stuff in the past month. if you watch channel 2 news they had 3 sitings in the past to weeks.

    anyway, wats goin on in isreal, is there like a disease testing goin on there or something. im already ready for the apocolypes, i got guns, ammunition, enough water for 4 lifetimes i’m still stocking up on dry food because the meet will spoil, and well you know what im talkin about

    if it does really happen, its gods rath for doing something really bad. if you and i do survive, come to sterling Oklahoma.

    ill be wating there.

    look for signs with our markings. but ive only got 3 done so far.

    well see ya then (if it does happen)

    remember god is with you and loves you allways

  • 7 zk_lt Dec 24, 2010 at 1:03 am

    Hey, so was watching the news here in Mi the other day, and there was a bar fight, some drunk chick bit off another ladies finger. Thought you might want to hear about that as well.

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