Immortal Cells – Zombie cancer of mankind

By Zombie Hunter Sam

HeLa CellsZombies are like a cancer on mankind. They simply don’t stop their horrendous task of eating and destroying and not dying. If you’re not consumed, you become one of the undead. A plague upon the earth, forever replicating and never dying. Of course, such a thing must eventually break down and wear out because it must follow certain rules – all cells, even undead, will eventually breakdown through wear, age, or break down over the centuries through erosion.

This assumes zombie cells are not immortal. There exists a certain type of cell that doesn’t break down. In fact, it’s IMMORTAL.  They can copy and reproduce without mutation or error and can split indefinitely, causing no breakdown of the original, in theory consuming everything they can and replicating to the point of infinity. These immortal cells exist and for now have been a gift upon science – we can experiment and develop vaccines. Left unchecked, the cells become a plague upon cultures and taint results. This particular immortal cell is called “Helacyton gartleri”, and it comes from a dead woman. In fact, there are more cells of this cancer than there ever were in this woman. A part of this woman lives forever, continuing to eat and replicate. Like a zombie.

These peculiar, though not undead, cells are from an average woman named Henrietta Lacks, who died in 1951. The same cells pulled from her cervical cancer (from HPV) are still alive. These cells, called HeLa, are common in biological research and are still being grown in an unbroken lineage from the original cells over 50 years ago. They’re used in cancer research, vaccination development, and can reproduce faster than other cancerous cells. They consume, excrete, and will be here a thousand years from now still alive, along with the original culture from 1951. That’s right – for all intents and purposes, her cancer cells are zombies.

HeLa cells can even be classified as a new species – Helacyton gartleri – spontaneously arisen from Lacks. The exhibit the following factors:

  • The chromosomal incompatibility of HeLa cells with humans.
  • The ecological niche of HeLa cells.
  • Their ability to persist and expand well beyond the desires of human cultivators.

Zombies are also incompatible with humans, this is an obvious point. The undead also have their own ecological niche – the ability to survive in most any clime, and the ability to consume most any flesh to add to their own hideously decaying cell structure. And the third point is also obvious – zombies are quite uncontrollable beyond human expectations.

Thus HeLa cells may have a cousin – that of the immortal zombie. If your brain tissue and brain stem become like HeLa, they will also live forever continuing those basic functions of motor skills and eating indefinitely – which is why I again stress that severing the base of the head and neck is most important. Brain cells are grown through neurogensis from brain stem cells, and if these cells take on the qualities of HeLa cells – well, you get the idea. A person is dead, but their brain will keep living – and feeding.

All we need next are scientists to experiment with manually regrowing dead brain cells.

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Filed Under: Brains · Reanimation · Science · Sickness · Undead

9 million infected

  • 1 shawn Apr 28, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    thats insane. the possibilities are endless with cells like that.

  • 2 Sam Apr 28, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    Indeed they are Shawn.

  • 3 Robert Lodge May 24, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    Dude, thats crazy. But do you think that there is/could be a virus out there like the T-Virus from the Resident Evil series? I think yes. It’s just a matter of time. But I believe the most strongly in a form of rabies like in 28 Weeks later and Left 4 Dead.

  • 4 Sabrina Enviable_Kitty Oct 3, 2009 at 10:19 am

    Fuck this is true, actually T-cell does exist at some point and levelage consider the fact as to how a cancer cell is produce and whom first discovered it also notice Philosopher Stone theory on Gold mutations and conversions I think there is a well known fact that people with Cancer may indeed hold the key to some of these zombies becoming ALIVE in all due respect I think that a Virus triggers the cancer cells thus making it impossible to kill thus taking the function of the T cell to fight CLONING cells

    This makes great sense call me crazy most of us in the field of science are well know to hit the can early wonder why is this so?

  • 5 dookie791 Apr 1, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    This is not as insane as any of you may think. I have actually seen these cells under the microscope, and damn are they incredible. People think Americans are the crazy ones, but no one takes a second thought about the British. They have terrible food and a funny accent. That’s all there is to it, right?

    Now lets think from a medical view. If the HeLa cells where to attach to the blood cells, this means they will be distributed to all of the organs, including the skin. Regeneration of these organs will make any thing living or undead damn near unkillable unless you destroy every bit of the body with a large weapon, like say a Hydrogen bomb or a Atomic Bomb. Or, FRAG-12 rounds.

  • 6 PurpleEater Apr 7, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    Well, wouldn’t it just be necessary to destroy every bit of their BRAIN to render them immobile, for the average citizen? Pop one in the head and thenthrow it in a furnace, right? Or am I wrong, will these things survive even that?

  • 7 Crystal Dec 23, 2010 at 9:01 am

    Indeed you are right purple eater. . Its just a mattre of time now, untill they use these cells in something very disturbing.

  • 8 Greg Aug 1, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    T-Gondii is one of the main causes for schizophrenia. It is estimated that half the worlds population is now infected with T-Gondii. T-Gondii can control human behavior without the person knowing. The military is using such Bio bugs as future Biological Weapons. A Bio engineered weapon to destabalize the population.

    What if the parisitic protozoa,– Toxoplasma Gondii was mutated several generations into the future? What do you think the result would be? This is a real parisite what do you think the effect would be if a mutated strain of Toxoplasma Gondii escaped?

  • 9 Unknown Sep 23, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Secret government plans to create immortality elixir. Kill off the weak. Instruct a New World Order. RFID chip poppulation, terminate resistance. Utapia under one Order.
    World police.
    World health care.
    World Poppulation limit.
    World economics system.
    One ruled by a league of United Nation sole purpose to insite a better world for your childrens generation.

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